Can You Really Change The Path Your Life will take or is it all preordained? Its something I have been thinking about a lot latterly. It often feels to me that many outcomes are a little to predictable at times as if one had a form clavoyance. Sometimes I don’t always seem to be able to keep a rational measured view on things. At times I have felt as there some strange force guiding me but also shutting certain doors and opening others. perhaps really it is just my subconscious, but it can feel like an external force almost. At my lowest ebb I have felt there is some malign force trying to knock me back when I get too cocky. Perhaps we simply have a need to apportion blame to avoid taking responsibility for our own destiny or rather the outcome of our decisions’. I have run in to an odd problem with a project that may well be simply due to me making a couple of mistakes due to a lack of concentration which hopefully I may now have fixed and whilst I know logically it’s just a mistake again my mind wants to interpret it as some sort of malign elemental force standing between me and victory.
I suspect it’s not though. My body clock is out of kilter so sleep is not so good at present as I am dreaming a lot and waking up tired too.

Currently I am having a weird problem with a release through soundclouds distro system where it keeps telling me that the audio language is incorrect. I have checked everything about 4 times now. There was an error which I have corrected but it seems not to have made any difference. If they don’t sort it out soon I will have to use a different platform I think. It’s odd as I have never had problems with them before.

When I have a problem I tend to get stuck and totally obsessed with it, it s a real nuisance at times for me. I feel it stems from a lack of control in my earlier life as a child when I was bullied and there was also a lot of gaslighting. Eventually I ended up with a belief system that if something went wrong it was always due to malicious intent or somebody trying to stop me from doing something. Sometimes it may have been but as time went by then usually it was not. Unfortunately my subconscious has never quite recovered from those fixed ideations. So one little upset when I am feeling fragile sets me off again. The worst part is that I really struggle to shift the focus of my attentions elsewhere.