Well, it been a bit of a week. My anxiety levels are creeping up and there does not seem to be much I can do about them, other than just try and chill out as much as possible. Yep, its hard work for sure. I guess there are a lot of other people who are feeling much the same right now of course. I have been trying to carry on doing stuff. I have tried doing a little drawing and sketching to get my mind into a different place and it helps a little but the bizarre intrusive thoughts are quite overwhelming at times, as they often are even at the best of times. I have had a good crack at all the usual techniques for this over the years so I do have ways of trying to keep the demons tied down sufficiently. But I feel trapped. Actually I am not really as I have open spaces to visit and space to do stuff but I really do miss social contact with people other than my partner. We are people with very different interests and under normal conditions that actually works quite well for us. But right now it’s not. I do phone calls and video chats and stuff and that helps but it is often not really enough I find.
There is a big difference between being face to face with someone and seeing and hearing them on a screen.
It’s looking likely that we will not be seeing anything remotely normal for 18 months or so. Perhaps by August, the pubs will be open again. At least some of them. It’s not likely to be the sort of places that I have played music at though as these do not allow for social distancing sadly.
Also its difficult to tell if any weird symptoms are the bug or just anxiety and other stuff. I have had headaches which might be stress or hay fever or maybe just not sleeping well. My back has been playing up a lot and making it very difficult to use the PC so one way and another its not going too well. I find myself getting very irritable too.
Audio version below.