Category Archives: whatever

Stuf that I can’t fit anywhere else…

Significant dates, limerence and irrational catastrophising

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, Musings, Piano, whatever

Nothing like a good tagline/headline and this is certainly nothing like one.

Here is a recent piano tune from me.

Sometimes we just need someone to have a really good talk too. Especially when we feel adrift and maybe our inner voices are just not providing enough answers or posing too many questions?

This years been a bit variable so far. At lot stuff I had planned to do just hasn’t happened due to the dreaded unforeseen circumstances and some slightly sub par health due to arthritis playing up and also my ongoing mental health issues that also do slow me down a tad. It makes you tired and weary so with the best will in the world you don’t take up invitations and plans get sidelined. I had a list of stuff I started the year with that I intended to do and one of those was that I would go through my back catalogue of songs and arrange a few for live performances. It just didn’t happen.

I have stuff which only exists in recorded form where I may well have just free formed the thing to a recording and not written it down anywhere. Conversely I also have a collection lead sheets of themes but they don’t have the lyrics attached and/or the title got changed before the final version.So I have found myself transcribing my own songs almost from scratch. That’s a lengthy process and doing other things often gets in the way. It’s much more more fun pursuing a new idea to fruition and so stuff goes by the wayside.

Add to that the tiredness from poor health and my notion of trotting around a few open mics just never happened. I am frustrated with myself to a fair degree as it feels like self sabotage at times. I do spend a bit too much time maybe on social media than I should. I am introverted to a certain degree. I like people but unless I know them well I often feel awkward. if I am going somewhere for a reason like a gig I am fine but just wandering off to a place where I don’t know people is hard work. Most people are quite friendly I have found but walking through doors is difficult at times. Also a habit of talking and saying too much as in TMI where you think afterwards of god why did I tell them about that.

I have been reading up on LImerence. At first I thought it might be a small town in Ireland but no tis not the case.
Also I think I may be experiencing it right now thinking logically.

Limerence is the mental state of being madly in love ] or intensely infatuated] when reciprocation of the feeling is uncertain. This state is characterized by intrusive thoughts and idealization of the loved one (also called “crystallization“), typically with a desire for reciprocation to form a relationship. This is accompanied by feelings of ecstasy or despair, depending on whether one’s feelings seem to be reciprocated or not. Research on the biology of romantic love indicates that the early stage of intense romantic love (also called passionate love) resembles addiction, but academics do not currently agree on how love addictions are defined.

The psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term “limerence” as an alteration of the word “amorance” without other etymologies] The concept grew out of her work in the 1960s when she interviewed over 500 people on the topic of love, originally published in her book Love and Limerence. According to Tennov, “to be in a state of limerence is to feel what is usually termed ‘being in love.'” She coined the term to disambiguate the state from other less-overwhelming emotions and to avoid the implication that people who don’t experience it are incapable of love. Tennov was inspired to study romantic love after encountering people in her post as a professor who experienced severe heartbreak and personal perils. Tennov’s research suggested to her that limerence is normal (although illogical), and a 2025 survey suggested that as many as 50–60% of the population had experienced it.

I shall say no more and hope it goes away by itself I think.

Happy Bastille Day



Summer, Yes there is more of it.

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, Musings, whatever

Another very warm week with various trials and tribulations. And why do people think its Ok to throw litter on our doorstep? Its kids mostly but just why?

Maybe I won’t give chapter and verse yet. I note the translobby are getting bit overheated about the whole ECHR guidance thing again. There is quiet work going on with legal eagles and such put forward reasoned arguments to Mps and so forth. But one trans group has suggested that there should be travel advisories to trans types people coming to the UK to not to come here which is a bit of a stretch. Reading between the lines there is a lot just ignore it and I will if you will in gov and elsewhere except places where there is an anti-trans gender/sex agender.. I think there is a gentle but steady tide flowing against the absurdity. Noted for example by responses from big employers and places like Marks and Sparks. I also note that the puberty blocker trail is going ahead also. Turning HMS United Kingdom on to a slightly different heading takes a while.

Well so far so good. Spiffing knees up last night, all jolly, jollys. So that was fun. Usually post gig long chat/bitching session and confessional with Claire afterwards. Told her about my absurd crush on X the unknown.

Claire our lead vocalist with Sonic Boomers our covers band admits to getting frustrated with the bands not getting more work Slightly too much beer so perhaps to much information exchanged. A bit sore today after a combination of rehearsals on Friday and very lively gig last night. It was a very warm evening. The bass player and the drummer got through 3 shirts on that gig. Allan our bass player sweats a lot, by the gallon almost.

On the home front OK ish mostly. Alisons Dr has taken her off some meds and just told her to exercise and to walk. She can walk though stairs are a problem but she has been over medicated IMO and the Dr she saw seems to be of the same opinion. Fingers crossed. I did an experiment using my large green screen sheet. Its for filming against so you can use a process to remove backgrounds, but it had an unexpected benefit. Hung across the kitchen and covering the kitchen window it actually kept the room cooler which I didn’t expect. Also i am looking at temporary reflective thermal blinds that fit in the window gap for my music room. Not pretty but may work. I played a hospital gig with Orchard and we had aircon but it was 35C outside. Thats way too toasty for me.

i now have an additional fan which cools air by misting and condensing water which is actually pretty useful. It’s really only meant for close up use but it does help quite a bit. I don’t know how long it will last, but fingers crossed.

And WTAF is this: do watch the video.

i

Groundhog Day anybody?

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, history, music, Musings, pictures, whatever, , ,

A certain slow rhythm has crept into my life and established itself. But the days are very similar at present.

I am not feeling that good really to be honest. I feel very isolated and somewhat threatened by malevolent forces that whilst they don’t yet affect the way I live may do. That’s my honest answer. For somebody like me that struggles with anxiety as well as bipolar everything I see chips away at my confidence or sours my enjoyment of things. It takes the colour out of life at present. So not good. Yesterday afternoon after going to the bank in Bedford I came home and sat in a chair and did nothing for about 3 hours. I did have a headache as well. Everything from Gaza to Ukraine to Trump to the resurgence of barely disguised neo-nationalism and the legitimised hate speech now starting to come from government is pretty depressing. The interpretation of the SC judgment by the EC commission is of course horrendous.

With that regard as I have said most older trans folk from my generation will not be complying with guidance. At some point there will be incidents I feel. I keep my faith in individuals but government has now lost my trust completely. To see video of labour politicians stating on video support for trans people whilst the election was on and now to hear those same politicians being either silent or like Starmer to say the polar opposite when in power has made me lose faith in notion of these people having any moral compass what so ever. So what’s the fucking point. They all sell out for the 30 pieces of silver in the end. At least Farage is honest. Vote for me and my new brown shirts and we will carry on where they left off.

Without PR there is no way to change anything. If the 16 year olds that do bother to vote in the next election do so in any significant number I wonder what they will vote for. The young people I meet I find to be mostly OK, but then they are likely to be music or arty creative types. I notice that trades people i have met dont drop a beat gas man and forth these days. So I would say day to day trans people are not perceived as partially noticeable or strange. You can tell from people’s facial expressions usually.

What I see in how people are in regard to their behaviours to me in the real world does not reflect what I see expressed on line. Is that passing privilege or nearly politeness or a bit of both? But the world feels a more hostile place generally. There was always double dealing and corruption in high places of course. I wonder what a post Trump world we be like. There is mass civil disobedience in the USA with regard to the ICE raids and a lot of farmers crops are rotting in the fields now as the illegals they relied on are not showing up. I watched videos where some farmers were shocked to find that they couldn’t hire black Americans to feel the gaps. Trumps rhetoric suggested that they would be mostly unemployed. Of course they are not. A lot of US towns are racially divided. So so places In Texas are mostly Hispanic. People out of the big city’s live very separately and don’t mix. These are regressive times. It seems to have started to change dramatically around 2015 onwards. In the UK Brexit has triggered allsorts of toxic stuff. So basically it’s the end of the enlightenment really. So things are not going to get better without a crisis of cataclysmic proportions.

Other than that every is fine.

I have expressed an interest in JCs new party as yet unnamed party.

https://www.yourparty.uk/statement

“It’s time for a new kind of political party. One that belongs to you. The system is rigged. The system is rigged when 4.5 million children live in poverty in the sixth richest country in the world. The system is rigged when giant corporations make a fortune from rising bills. The system is rigged when this government says there is no money for the poor, but billions for war. We cannot accept these injustices – and neither should you. We will only fix the crises in our society with a mass redistribution of wealth and power. That means taxing the very richest in our society. That means an NHS free from privatisation and bringing energy, water, rail and mail into public ownership. That means investing in a massive council-house building programme. That means standing up to fossil fuel giants putting their profits before our planet. Meanwhile, millions of people are horrified by the government’s complicity in crimes against humanity. Now, more than ever, we must defend the right to protest against genocide. We believe in the radical idea that all human life has equal value. That is why we will keep demanding an end to all arms sales to Israel, and for the only path to peace: a free and independent Palestine”

Our movement is made up of people of all faiths and none. The great dividers want you to think that the problems in our society are caused by migrants or refugees. They’re not. They are caused by an economic system that protects the interests of corporations and billionaires. It is ordinary people who create the wealth – and it is ordinary people who have the power to put it back where it belongs.

It’s time for a new kind of political party. One that is rooted in our communities, trade unions and social movements. One that builds power in all regions and nations. One that belongs to you.

Sign up at www.yourparty.uk to be part of the founding process, leading to an inaugural conference. At this conference, you will decide the party’s direction, the model of leadership and the policies that are needed to transform society. That is how we build a democratic movement that can take on the rich and powerful – and win.

Real change is coming.

Jeremy Corbyn MP & Zarah Sultana MP

Lets keep our fingers crossed and hope for a better day.
We dare to dream still