The nights are drawing in again

 

Sad songs from me at the moment. 

It’s dark as I write this now.  The world is quiet still yet, cars going by but the building sites stopped now.  The work is nearly finished now apart from 2 houses that still need a roof on and some landscaping to be finished but it could well be done by Christmas or not long afterwards at the at rate its currently be done.

The builders have provided a lot of entertainment and education  during the time they have been here,so I now know a lot more about how houses are built from the ground up. I will miss the show when its gone.  I will though have a little park that I can sit in and day dream if I whish when its finished if I am lucky. It should be OK as long as they dont think I am a vagrant and try to move me on.    

I have had a lot of time to think. But we are of course still in Covid-19 limbo and will be for quite  a while.  At best till the spring, but maybe a lot longer.  In the mornings here there is a mist that rolls along the water meadows at this time of year that looks quite magical.  I have never had the presence of mind to get a decent photo of it yet though. Mostly in the mornings it takes me about an hour to get the aching bones moving.  That can be hard work at times,  particularly as things are now.   I have a back brace that I wear part of the time that helps but not always. Mostly its useful to stop me slumping as I type which makes a big difference.  Maybe if I can get match fit I  will be able to get back to some of the things I used to do previously as a web developer.  That’s not the most important thing by any means though but then what is?

 

 

Another quiet Sunday

Today is a giving up day.  I have been trying to get on with stuff but today I ground to a halt. Having said that after putting down tracks for a new song and writing the words to it. So not a wasted day really I suppose. This week we should hear about what happens over the Christmas period in regard to lockdown rules.  Due to personal circumstances I have hardly noticed that we have been locked down anyway.
Over the course of this year I have really only been in contact  with 3 friends face to face plus the odd supermarket shop assistant. 

Its definitely having an effect on me mentally now.  The loss of two good friends in a year and a half plus an exe band member has also been a bit difficult to deal with. 

I am still ploding ing along with music related activities of course though and trying to keep in touch with people is at times not so easy. My mental health is tanking a bit too, 

 

Sad news this month

Two people known  to  to me have died unexpectedly this month.  One I had not seen for many years but whom I worked with in the band Elephant Shelf. Robbie who was bass player for about 7 years or so. He had a stroke and had not been able to play instruments anymore. He committed suicide.

The other person Ralph Stephenson was a friend of many years standing who had been a regular visitor after the death of Vicky Martin to my home in Great Denham over the last year and a half. he had health issues but his death was unexpected and sudden.  he had a wide range of interests from film and photography to audio recording and music and much more besides having also been a radio DJ and reporter and film news cameraman  for ITN. He was every heavily involved in the alternative  scene in the late 60’s and 70’s. 

Lockdown life is now very quiet. 

 

The things we dare not say

The things we dare not say,if l write my autobiography I would have to leave all the really interesting bits out.

How many of us really know if we have done more good than harm?  I have broken rules for good reasons and also for bad ones over the years. Judge not lest ye be judged and all that.  I have no idea where I would come on the scales…
i am still thinking the thoughts, even if I am not doing the deeds.  But I do such things in my dreams as would make your mind reel.

So we move in to the last days of Trump. He has 11 weeks to go and we wonder what mischief he will be about in that time?
Best not to think to much about it really in my opinion. Lets hope its a damp squib and he fades away into  the distance with feint echos of the sound and fury preferably on  a black horse with a black hat muttering “You will never take me alive”.   

Currently I am revising my French and about time too as my brain is suffering from lock down malaise. I am also practicing sight reading again with the aim of going straight through without stopping or hesitating. It has to be done. I really want to try and get through this period having gained some skills. I hope my resolve will last.

The bones creaking are still creaking but not too  bad overall with exercise regime. Gently does it but regularly seems to be the watchword. The new back brace works wonders to and has lasting effects. Moodwise I am a bit techy this weekend. I really don’t know why. At the time of writing I have just but down the  basics of a new song. the Lyrics are not cooked yet though. I have some rough ideas, which I might sort of freestyle as I go along. I was going to say extemporise but that sounds a tad pretentious dont you think? 

Be good and if you cant be good be careful.

   

 

 

November Fireworks and back into lockdown

The start of the month and the colors of autumn  are still rich on many of the trees, Its cold but with blue skies. Today I have been watching the US presidential elections weird dysfunctional drama unfold.  At the time of writing we have also moved in to a 4 week period of restrictions in the UK intended to limit the spread of Covid-19.  So not exactly a fun time.  I am trying to keep my mind engaged as much as possible, so I am now revising my French language among other things. 

Musical doings continue in a similar manner with a couple of projects and also some work on weak points in technique and other matters related to it. Its a bit hard keeping up motivation now though frankly.  Some days are better than others.  Today was a bit hard going as I had not been at all today.  The walls do start  to  close in a bit after  a while.  

Diana Stone at the Keys 2020

 

When the space between worlds is thin and fragile

its that time of year again when some believe the barrier between what is and what was is thin and messages may be passed to us. Or else its just the change of the seasons.  All depends on what you believe of course, but there is an atmosphere at this time when we will lose those remaining leaves and the wind will get colder and stronger.  This has been a very strange year, last year was a struggle and this year has been too for very different reasons.  But maybe there is more, we just dont know and we cant predict anything. maybe a bit of hope won’t hurt even if its just a phantom or smoky dream. Sometimes the imagination is better than the realty.