January 2022, What does it mean to you?

A new year. New things in the works as well. Some beginnings and the odd green shoot breaking through the crack in the pavement.
I am a bit knackered generally speaking at present. I have made some new music connections and I do hope they will grow survive the frost.
Its been a long time since I tried anything really new.  Lots of thoughts racing around my head that are not too much to do with anything but are quite distracting and even disturbing at times.  I do wonder how people manage to filter out the distractions as I find with time passing I am more and more easily drawn off course than I ever was before.  Also my ability  to stay focused and enthusiastic for any length of time seems long gone. I am fine when I am working with others  in the main, but alone its now a real battle. Is it simply a a lack of novelty or something more than that? The first song I recorded this year is different as the lyrics were provided by a friend. Its been a long time since i did that sort of collaboration.  It seems to have worked out OK though as a few people have played it already and shared it. Its a relatively simple tune and was an experiment which seems to have succeeded. So perhaps a few more collaborative efforts  could be in the pipe line.

 

One thing that is much the same is how quiet it is here. The whole worlds asleep after sundown it seems at this time of year in this place. Sitting in music room typing I am almost drifting off to sleep as well.  The trees though already have hints of what will become with  buds showing and other hints of life. One thing that being a city dweller for so many years that I did not really appreciate is how much green there is even in the depths of winter. Its not really bleak at all and I worried that it might be. I am a passive observer of the countryside in the main but do appreciate it.   

Is it Safe?

 

“For last year`s words belong to last year`s language and next year`s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” – T.S. Eliot

Well is it?  We have now had 2 years worth of Covid-19. Are we finally seeing the light or is there some sting in the tail?  I seriously do wonder.
We are now very close to the turn of the year again.  I wonder whats coming next, but I shall try not to think too much about that. I find winter difficult in terms of keeping  positive now.  When I was out regularly gigging that helped keep my mood lifted but without that its very hard going. However I am attempting to travel hopefully as it were. In a sense from here onward’s its all down to health in the main. Everything else is sorted pretty much if that holds out. I have a one or two projects in line for 2022, so I have  a bit of a plan.  I have things to do, but they will be pretty much carrying on as normal. I am not expecting to to do anything radically different now. Old dog, new tricks and all that.

  

 
   

Dont Panic

Well OK I shall try not to then. This week has not gone to plan so far as I have had to change a few plans. Having to do that has made me a bit anxious though. Fingers crossed about getting back on track with stuff. but not today I think.  Most things have been done though with slight delays as it turns out. I am not sure how  Omicron is going to affect the planned musical doings I have on the Horizon at present which may through a  spanner in the works post Christmas break.  I did another Covid test which is ambiguous in its result. So I shall do another one tomorrow.     

 

So anyway here’s  a new tune for you and you, and you too. This one has electric 12 string(open tuned in DADGAD for you  guitar nerds) and Violin and a rhythm I programmed up myself so its a little different at least in that respect. My other recording projects are still on going with Jon Bickley and the Invisible Folk Club too at the time of writing.

In many respects at this time of life I am not in too bad a place considering. I have no lack of anything materially. I am and have been loved though not necessarily always understood. Much of my life described to me at the age of say 25 would have seemed the wildest shores of fantasy. So whilst I do not take great joy at Christmas I am not any less happy than others. I would be happier if I could have a Christmas drink with absent friends, but in some senses I have everything I need. I am a little bit depressed. That often happens to me around Christmas though to be honest, so perhaps it’s not really news. Its perhaps just the usual midwinter effect.

I am though more than a little obsessed with my age. It never occurred to me that I might still be around at 64 with another year about to click around the odometer of life in a few weeks. I suppose we all have thoughts like that of course.  I feel as if maybe I should not be not still be here at times. I feel as though I have done as much as I can and there is nothing new for me in some respects. Maybe its a special sort of crazy reserved just for me that I am experiencing?  Actually its more like some form of dépersonnalisation than the typical depression that I have had in the past. I feel as though I am reading the book rather than having  the lived experience in certain respects. That sounds weird but I think I have nailed it.  I feel very concerned about the future because I just cant imagine what its going to be like?  More of the same or something a  little different. So dare I hope for better after the last two years?  I just feel that there is more likely to be something really awful just around the next bend in the road.  I have a bit of a phobia about starting anything new that might take time as I feel as if that is really tempting fate.  Curiously Covid-19 is not at the top of my list of demons of which there are many and various. All creatures great and small of the unnatural sort beating there ghastly wings and extending their tallons or tentacles to ensnare me.  What am I on….

I suspect if I am not carried off to the never world by demons Christmas will be marginally  tolerable.  Its the best one can hope for.
 So just in case ” Seasons Greetings” and all that to you. 

Its been a while since I last spoke with you. Pull up a chair.

It’s been a while since I last spoke with you. Pull up a chair. Tell me what you have been doing. Did you win?  I am glad.  You know we dont get many visitors these days and it’s always good to talk.  We will just listen to start with if thats OK with you?  It’s just that we are a little short on subjects to talk about recently. And we don’t get out much, did I tell you.  So tell us all about you.

Yep, its a weird old world. My musical doings are proceeding as expected at present, in mostly a positive direction.  My body and mind are as ever doing what they do and giving me little unexpected surprises.  I am releasing another album to coincide with my Birthday next month.  I think my solo material  output will be a little less next year if things move in the direction I expect them to and I am busy with other things as well as my personal music  projects.  Fingers knees and toes crossed it will all work out.

Christmas. Not really my thing anymore.  Scrooge me. Not really. Well maybe just a little. Plus the stars are going out, so many people that were part of my musical influences in my youth are fading away though they have left a rich legacy of recorded music. At the time of writing this Mike Nesmith has  just ridden into that  sunset too.

         

  

 

 

A New Varient.

It’s been cold. At the rehearsal rooms it was a bit chilly too so that was not the most comfortable session. But it went OK and was productive. 
It was good to play with a rock band line  with actual people up however rusty we are at present.
 
This year I have written and recorded 68 tracks in total starting in January. I have also played on 3 or 4 other recording projects this year. So I have been keeping  busy. I need to switch off for a while now I think, but my mind won’t detach from it. It’s become a little obsessional which is actually not good at all.  Perhaps its the effect of too much time in my own company?    

 

Rolling Along Just About

Winter nights again. if your not sitting in a front of a blazing wood burner many aspects of it are not terribly appealing though. 
 I am not a big fan of Christmas generally. Or perhaps its current incarnation. Still I suppose I should be used to it by now. I have after all had a few at this point in my life.  Still never mind, I am sure others will be able to fill the festive energy gap if I can’t totally get with the program.
So as usual music and more music and bla, bla bla.  Getting up is a struggle now. I just can’t get the motivation. 

I have just had the first rehearsal with the new band and its looking hopeful. Plenty of smiling faces by the end. And some reasonably musical noises made, so a good start at least.I did blank completely on arrival though. Also I felt quite nervous as it’s been quite a while since I played with any new people. Starting to interact socially more is a bit weird as its been a long time since I met new people. Plus having got conditioned to being locked down I am now getting cabin fever having actually had some social interaction again. 

The combination of Covid-19 and Brexit and personal loss means that the world feels very different to me now in many regards.  So I shall carry on day to day and not  dwell on looking  to far into the future which feels very uncertain to me now. 

The time of life is short! / To spend that shortness basely were too long
— HENRY IV PART 1, ACT 5 SCENE 2, LINES 81-84; HOTSPUR TO A MESSENGER 
Or possibly then as Nike say:

Just do it