Monthly Archives: June 2024

You Can Never Go Back

Orchard took a trip out to Pete Suttons open mike at The Farmer’s Boy, St Albans and we played a few songs and jolly good fun it was so thanks for having us. I remember the Farmers Boy well as it was one of the regular places for Elephant Shelf and The DELTA LADIES a while back. I think I last played there about 2013 so a very long time ago. A very hot day and I was in a real brain fog when I got there but I woke up when we actually started to play. Odd to be back and find nothing changed in 10 years or so. However it was a pleasant diversion for a summer evening and we got some decent applause. I don’t feel as though much will come of it through. “Do or do not, there is no try” though I guess.

It's not where you start its where you finish. Ford Popular.

It’s not where you start it’s where you finish.

The very hot weather of the last couple of days has abated which is a relief. But now there is a very high pollen level. Sniff, sniff, drip, drip…
I am working on a new track in between the above. Slow trancy synth stuff with a vocal. Not sure if I like it yet, but it’s growing on me. Maybe with a bit of fettling it might work out. Anyway back to the future is just a movie sadly. We can’t really go back and fix what’s F******d. Can we make it? I am not sure.

“Divine Ruler, to whom peace belongs. Master of Peace, Creator of all things. May it be thy will to put an end to war and bloodshed on earth, and to spread a great and wonderful peace over the whole world, so that nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore”.

Right Leg, Left Leg and Robin Hood

I played at the first performance of a friends pantomime. Robin Hood created by Jon Bickley who wrote the play and the songs. I am one of the musicians in the loose collective that is the Invisible Folk Club band that performed them for the show. I had said that getting opportunity’s to play gigs generally were getting very much rarer whenJon asked me how I was doing and suggested diversification generally. I said my problem was not lack of creative outlets but simply missing live performance.I mentioned the fact that so many of the gigs at pubs and so forth were just not there to be had anymore. It makes one feel a bit irrelevant.I enjoyed the show yesterday. Playing for a pantomime that was actually pretty funny was a good new experience.

It does seem that there are really only two sorts of retirees. I will use that term loosely but it sort of fits. There are the pipe and slippers people who seem perfectly happy and then the what now tribe. I am a what now, but of stock with a small trace of pipe and slippers in the DNA. Not wanting a Bilbo Baggins grand adventure but needing a bit more. Yes I am adapting but my metamorphosis is not yet complete. But even yesterday’s event is a step towards something different. My journey is slightly more problematic due to the depressive element as always there is a voice saying why bother. Sometimes it’s a loud voice and sometimes a whisper.
Knowing who I am is useful but not the superpower that I had hoped it would be.

So as I write this it’s a quiet day sorting stuff out. Plus a brief walk and a bit of musical maneuvering too.

Sunny days and uphill struggles

Some days it feels like you only have to turn over in bed to strain something. This is not life enhancing. Today is such a day. Usual afternoon here at Stone Towers. Piano reading practice Recording and stuff until now. Doing stuff is on average about 5 hours a day I guess the rest is just fannying about. There is I suspect a lot of subconscious stuff going on when I am zoning out. I am a bit more energetic, but I have to watch as my body seems a lot more fragile these days. I am not bothering to follow much of the election stuff now. I did read a bbc news article about people that don’t vote anymore or never have. One young woman said her family never did. It was very much a thing that our family always did. Perhaps, because then the memory’s of WWII were very fresh for people of my parents age. It mattered a lot to then that we had been able to survive as a democracy and not be over run. My vote is unlikely to matter but having the franchise is important. Many people now seem to think that politics is just a game where people make false promises to get elected. I cannot argue too much with the logic behind that though.

At the time of writing it’s the summer solstice. And I am still looking for answers to make sense of life generally so no change there.