What It Looks Like From Here Right Now.

I have musical stuff going on again in addition to my solo projects, which is good news.  Yes regular interaction with real human beings again and I am very glad of it. I am still finding it very hard work generally to be honest after 2 years of lock down and the loss of people close to me.
Paradoxically I have found things more difficult now that most restrictions have been lifted.  Trying to not think about the situation in the Ukraine is hard. I have  watched a lot of news reports and wonder where its all going to end. The world seems broken right now. I had hoped that  being a bit busier would have kept the depression at bay, but this last week its come back suddenly with a vengeance.  I am keeping my self as busy as I can but things are feeling very flat again.  I have been working through the minor items on my to do list.  Some days you just have to keep going as its worse when you stop.  

Here is a solo piano tune.

Its weird, I was doing quite well mentally until about a week ago. Somethings knocked me off track. Not sure what it is to be honest as in relative terms on a personal level things are not going too badly overall. Perhaps to much introspection? I suspect Putin is not going any further than Ukraine regardless of what messages are sent out from the bunker. Railways are legitimate targets in war of course…. The Russians are not using weapons that can accurately hit targets Its almost ww2 era weaponry. Nothing like Exocet’s or drones that can accurately target. With modern weapons you can almost knock down one building and leave the next door one standing. They know the weapons are totally indiscriminate so shelling and shitty old school rockets can hit anywhere. But virtue of the fact that they know they cannot do accurate strikes, they also know the damage they will do to non non-combatants. So from an ethical stance its not much different to having the station in the cross hairs IMO that is.

I don’t think there is that much spin on reporting. My guess is the Ukrainians are slaughtering the Russian troops but who ever wins there will not be much left and it will need to be rebuilt but by whom?    I am having a lot of problems with aches and pains at the moment. I suspect because I have been sitting down using the computer too much recently.

I am going to do a few more Facebook live videos, it makes me feel a bit less isolated. particularly at the moment as I don’t feel that good about myself right now.