Category Archives: music

Introspection and the Landscape in my Head

Diana Stones Songs, music, Musings, other

My head. You don’t want to wander around in there uninvited if you know whats good for you.  Far better take care and beware I say. Its monday as I write this having wrestled with a violin part for a recent tune that turned out to be more of a stretch than I anticipated.  It has worked out although I did think at one point I would have to abandon it.  I will let the rest of the world judge its worth or lack of same.

I seem to be having a lot of headaches at the moment, which might be sinus related.  It’s tiring.  Still I have had a reasonably useful day. I need to do some minor organization and tidying up in the studio room as its getting a bit messy and unpleasant to work in in some respects. Due to lockdown and other stuff  have though spent far longer in here at a stretch than I  used to though, but then I have also spent far longer at home that for any time in my life in the last 20 years or so .  As I write this I have become quite anxious and can not seem to shake it off. Its weird as it always seem to come out of nowhere, blown like invisible spores. Sometimes the body is sending signals for a reason too that one does not always receive and respond appropriately to.  

Music projects are proceeding as expected.  There is not much likelihood of anything live on the horizon at present unfortunately. Its still looking very much like this year continues to be flat in that respect.  I do miss live performance a lot. Both the musical and the social  aspects equally. I also miss the phone calls that no longer come and the now permanently absent friends.   That takes the wind out of my sails with a vengeance and then I am becalmed and likely to become ensnared in a mental sargasso sea of stagnation. Its like standing at the very edge of the universe knowing that you can never return home. You could go forward but never back as its expanding faster than you can fly. I stole that from a recent film as it fits the bill. 

Covid is still with us after 19 months or so and affecting pretty much  everything to some degree or other.  The new normal doesn’t feel anything like normal to me to be honest. And I have lost my confidence in public spaces having hardly been in any for 9 moths or more.  The lack of social interaction is also wearing me down.  I am keeping a reasonable outlook on the whole, but some days are very hard work.  I wonder if it’s going to be like this going forward for me now?   If I try and relax I get anxious, but I get just as anxious when I do have something to do even if it’s something I am looking forward to. At my age I should be long past this sort of rubbish. I feel like a teeanger but I am getting hale and ancient. When I actually remember how old I am it comes as a shock  to the system like plunging under a very cold shower or the feeling when you wake from a dream and feel completely disoriented. 

My new release “If I Am Spared”  is now live on streaming services

Spotify  https://open.spotify.com/album/7lS2Oxo2CHi06Lg9F0yMOY
Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09B5D4M96/ref=dm_ws_sp_ps_dp
Youtube music  https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kSJtNpSm-TblrYvwgB9dU6-sIEyMzE6EM
Apple https://music.apple.com/gb/album/if-i-am-spared/1578105477

And the other place you can google for 🙂
       

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
 

 

Hot Hot Hot

Diana Stones Songs, music, Musings, whatever

Too hot today really, really it is. So I am watching a whole lot of YouTube again. And writing lyrics and tunes or at least trying to.I am writing about living vicariously through YouTube blogs among other subjects I am working on songwise.
The heat is not going anywhere for a day or two either. 

 I have done one or two  useful things today. I have sorted out a 15 track web album for Amazon/Apple spotify YouTube and so on.It should  be released by August 6th. 
Plus a bit of minor DIY. So not a bad day. Also recording a bit of a new tune may well be an instrumental featuring violin if its not a song. I havent made up its mind yet.

Looking back two years my world is very different and like many others now much smaller too.  Absent friends are not forgotten at all but the memories of them exist in a parallel universe that can only be visited at quiet times and also with caution advised.
I have adapted and much I had hoped for is unlikely now to happen so a certain amount of acceptance of the limits I find myself bound by is required. I don’t feel at home though yet. 

This week I did my first covid test. A lateral flow  at home.   As I expected it was negative. It wasn’t  difficult to do,  though the self swabbing is a bit  tricky to get right.
You can see if  the test is working before you get the your result and its very quick. Hopefully its accurate. Also you get a covid pass in your phone app that lasts 48 hours if its negative. 

The heat is really wearing me out. At the time of writing its expected to cool by  down tomorrow morning. I do hope so.   

    
  
 

Friday Thoughts Mid July

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, music, Musings, whatever

Friday again and that came around very quickly. The usual routine,record practice and writing. And exercise of course. How well its going I am not entirely sure. Some things are improved and others are worse at times. The grand opening up is on monday and I am quite nervous about it to be honest. I would like to be out there and up and and at it but after nearly 18 months of keeping a distance it seems a bit daunting to be mixing with  people very much again. I really have lost track of passing time. I know what day it is but no day feels any different to any other now. My mental health has taken me to a strange place now.  I feel a very strong sense of disassociation now as if I am not really here, or that my life is some how a play that I am observing at close quarters and someone else is acting out my role in the proceedings. It’s a very weird feeling. 
Looking out of my window and its very warm and bright and sunny and the world is turning very slowly.   The end of this month sees a date of some personal significance to me. A milestone though if it is passed means only that the future is unwritten.  

And of course there is a song:

 

 Sometimes words are elusive and catching them before they scamper away is tricky.
It’s odd but when I try to write down the words in my head on paper they often just disappear. It’s more than a little frustrating. I am sure I did not have this problem before. Music pours out (good bad and indifferent) most of the time, but somehow words wait until the very moment you attempt to capture them. Suddenly they run off like squirrels up a tree or voles down a hole. 

“ If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.”

― Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms