Yep, it’s hard work. My depression is trying to get a grip again. I feel like I am waiting for a call that is never going to come. A bit useless and past my sell by date really. And each day that feeling grows a little stronger. I was really doing well until I had the tooth problem. I got it sorted out really quickly though I was a bit bruised and battered after. But I have just fallen into a bit of a low. I can’t think why though. The only thing to do is just to do. Something or anything really.
Still boldly going forward because I can’t find reverse. Here is a blues type song idea. And Happy Spring Equinox whilst I remember. I have had a very sleepy week so far. I did a St Patrick’s day gig with my band Orchard and that was great fun though hard work.
Ēostre or Ostara was the goddess of spring associated with the festival of the spring equinox. During this time, eggs were used a symbol of rebirth and the beginning of new life and a hare or rabbit was the symbol of the goddess and fertility.
Both these symbols were adopted by Christianity and are still seen today during Easter, together with hot cross buns, another ancient symbol which comes from the baking of sweet buns for an idol.
Yep, my mind is a mixture of quite disturbing thoughts at times. Well it is at the time of writing. My goodness there goes another one. I am all a flutter. Gadzooks. I have been working a lot of trying to improve my fitness post Covid and lockdown and all that jazz. I think its working but I have equally well been getting more and more irritable and impatient to. My life is very quiet compared to how things were 5 years ago when I was still playing regular gigs and a lot of other stuff was also occupying my time too. Now I have time to think. Thinking can lead one to dangerous places which is why perhaps so many people on Facebook, X and so forth don’t even bother to attempt it?
A friend said I seemed irritable. Well lately I think I often am. Mostly with the universe in general. I am quite a full on sort of person when I get going. I can be a bit fiery. Perhaps I am a dragon…I also have to remember not to interject oaths and swearing in my conversations. I am constantly twitchy and tend to fidget. If I were giving a lecture I would be pacing from side to side rather than standing at the podium I think.
Here is a new song. Piano and Vocals. The latest keyboard I have has a really decent piano samples on it that make for a little more subtly that is very apparent on recordings.
When I was younger and very naive I thought I would never understand why people would start to lean on alcohol and drugs as a crutch. Well I think I have it figured out now. I feel I have built a wall between me and the rest of the world. Partly for protection and partly due to just feeling other. I really don’t know what I can do about that now. Passing time has made me cynical too. If I do last a little while longer, I need to make a change or two so that my mind survives in good order even if my body does not.
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