A few minor hiccups at present to be sorted out.I quite like the Buddhist idea of acknowledging and accepting feelings rather than trying to control them as they often seem to get bored and vanish into the mists. Beyond that who knows. Sometimes it’s hard just keeping on going however good ones intentions are. I am slightly lacking in Mojo today. I will work on one of my music projects a bit later on. I am wiped out at present. I am not fighting my tiredness too well though. But I must crack on and boldly go. A new tune below.
This could be the last time, I don’t know as the Rolling Stones sang. I am running out of ideas a and maybe I am running out of time too on a personal level. My body feels more worn out more often these days for sure. Here is a new tune to try and keep moving to. just a little mello dancing jazzy funky instrumental this time. A bit of fun. I just submitted an album for distribution. I am just waiting for them to check it all out to see if its good to go or not. It usually takes about 2 days to say yes if the checks go OK. I hate waiting for anything, I seem to have got a lot more impatient now. And surprise, surprise a couple of typos so here we go again.
Tried and trusted or new and unexplored? You the jury must decide. I haven’t got a clue. So another week of rehearsals (a video shoot for the folk band) and recording is expected. No gigs this week though. Today is flashing by at a rate of knots. I am still fairly prone to anxiety but I seem to be better at managing it than I used to be. It does sneak up on me though, usually when I am chilling out or at least trying to. Echoes from the past do jump out at me from the shadows and unhinge me still even now.
“Falling Down Again” A recent recording of mine with a mild jazz influence to it. The lyrics are somewhat ambiguous as usual I am afraid. But hey it is what it is, maybe you can tell me what you think it’s all about? Or not.
Currently Bedford seems to be the rain capital of the UK. Though its actually stopped for a moment A strange thing happened that made me wonder about the world we don’t see. Maybe it was just coincidence or serendipity? Do our thoughts sometimes communicate in other ways than just the senses we know, is our mind something beyond just the body, perhaps even capable of existing outside the realm of what we perceive as time. I asked a question and it feels like the universal mind replied maybe… Or I could just be delusional of course. We like to have order and our brains try to make connections and correlations. But I like the idea of something other and greater and perhaps wiser. Invisible Sky Mummy/Daddy/Entity have you got any good advice for me today? I feel like I am tripping my nuts off as they used to say, perhaps its all my supplements I take in a desperate attempt to claw back a reprieve from reaper time. I am still fighting the usual battles with anxiety and depression. This week I have have only one rehearsal (social opportunity too of course) now as the Tuesday one was cancelled due to ill health. So I am at a bit of a loss today.
I seem to have a very limited concentration span these days, is that the effect of instant gratification social media perhaps? A friend who reads a lot has really discovered the joy of it again after a weeks holiday. There is so much distraction so it’s easy to get over stimulated. Also perhaps a bit of FOMO unless you are a bit of a bookworm. In between writing this I am adding keyboard parts to a track I am working on. Its very quiet here at present, hardly anyone about on the street outside. That’s good but sometimes it is just too quiet for me.
Often it feels like we are already living in an alternate reality to be honest. And sometimes I feel like a cartoon character and my grip on reality is week at best. i would like to spread a little bit more love and light into the world but I really don’t know how. I feel pretty powerless most of the time now. So if I can make you smile or laugh a little or even move or stir your soul a little I am pleased. I wish you Peace and Love and a Safe Home.
How much ego is too much ego? I think this is particularly relevant to performers and artists. You need it to function but ultimately it might just eat you up. Am I vain. Yep definitely that too. Tik Tok made me do it 😉
I love street view, wandering around the places I will never go. The places where distant Facebook buddys live. Cruising around the virtual neighbourhoods and all of that. It helps keep me moderately sane.
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