Well I messed up again. I tried to get along to a songwriters showcase locally to listen and didn’t get through the door. I have had a really bad time in the last few weeks trying to do stuff on my own to form a few more connections in my local area and its not working. I have lost a lot of confidence recently again I think, after building it up again. I am not too sure why.
My levels of anxiety have dropped over the last couple of years which is good. I do feel a little burned-out. It’s mental and physical as I have feel tired. To often I am looking for excuses not to do things. Most mornings its a real struggle to get out of bed too. Partly due to arthritis, but by no means entirely. My mental health always seems to hit the lowest ebb between February and March. This year though after doing OK even through lockdown I seem to have lost my mojo again. I am living vicariously through social media. So what’s the answer? I haven’t got a clue. But I do have ongoing projects and I have gigs in the book with the acts I play in so actually maybe it’s not so bad.
This lot are in part my salvation for live performances again. I don’t lack confidence performing at all, though I do sometimes get a bit anxious beforehand. My problem is all about trying to meet new people. I am hopeless at it. I really am.
Anyway here is a tune of mine from last year:
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