Confidence and Imposter Syndrome

Some days you feel like a fraud. Well I do. Yes indeed. What’s to be done about it? I have got a little lazy recently, not learning things properly. It’s a mindset that is easy to get into. I was very anxious when I arrived at the gig yesterday. Much more than the last time I played there. I did relax as it progressed. Just one of those things I guess. If I was doing regular solo stuff I would be OK with it I think. So its all back to doing stuff locally a bit I guess if I want to try and progress that side of things more. I really do find that I cant learn stuff just for the sake of it. I have to apply it somehow for it to stick. Although I can still learn new tricks I need a reason or an external challenge to spur me on and make it stick. Solo is a rare thing for me and to be honest really a last resort unless I turn it in to a piano bar thing with lots of standards (American song book 30s to 50s) and some originals. I just prefer working with others. It’s a little less intense.My performances are a bit variable at times I feel.

The sun is out as I write today. Another week of rain expected though. I have two rehearsals this week to fit in. But not much else. I looked at a song I have written, and played it. It’s not quite ripe for recording yet though. So in the meantime I have started working on another idea.

So here is a recent one to be getting on with instead:

I must go now and check how the sunset is proceeding.

The sunset was excellent and I hartly approved of it. A very good effort indeed.