Well I do hope so. So here’s a song about madness in my dreams which is currently the case. At least after the most recent ones, which have been very hard work indeed. I recorded this just over a year ago and this is the mastered version. Its a dark psych folk sort of vibe. Whatever that means.
I have had some very unsettling dreams recently and they are putting me a little out of sorts. I hope it eases a bit. I am on a nostalgia kick again or rather my mind is at present. It’s a bit unsettling to be honest. I don’t want to forget the good stuff, but I don’t want to be bound by the past either. This time of year is always a struggle to keep my head together. I have had the exercise bike for a week now and it’s starting to be part of daly the routine. I won’t be winning any endurance medals just yet though. Anything that can boost the endorphins is good though I reckon.
Sometimes trying to fix things doesn’t work. An example: after the Delta Ladies finally turned up its collective toes in Feb 2020 I only started finding new musical collaborators when I officially retired it. So by stopping I was able to start again My occasional gigs with Jan under the “New Delta Ladies” banner is really somewhat of an anomaly though a fun and pleasant one. When I hit a really bad patch at work post depression in the Civil Service I moved sideways into a different job and that allowed me to get going again. I think it is in my nature to persevere but sometimes that’s the wrong approach and I get mired down putting energy into dead ducks and lame horses. Its not always possible to judge when to throw in your hand and leave the table….
I watched a new film (released in December 2023) last night “Jules” with Ben Kingsley: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jules_(film) I really enjoyed it. Its Sci Fi comedy but it’s also about ageing. Milton (Ben Kingsley) is dealing with the start of memory loss. Much in resonated with me, in terms of the stage of life I am now in. That film was almost like a therapy session for me. I would recommend it wholeheartedly 🙂
One of my greatest worries is appearing flakey and unreliable. At present I do feel a bit vulnerable in that respect. I feel I have slowed down a lot recently and I am not too sure how to handle it. Small things are knocking me off course more than they used to and the lack of certain imperatives that are no longer relevant has meant loss of a degree of dogged determinism with life goals now being more fluid and not solely focused on financial stability as an overarching imperative anymore.
In-between typing my semi-literate ramblings here I have been working on a new song. I feel my voice is not what it was in many respects at present but that it does work well enough on recordings which are though a very different art to that of live performance in general. I feel that my voice has possibly had some long term change post covid but of course it might simply be the passing of the time? It is really hard to tell. But the key thing in a recording is how it works as a whole, and often somehow things do turn out to be more than the some of the parts in unexpected but serendipitous ways. In-between typing my semi-literate ramblings here I have been working on a new song. I feel my voice is not what it was in many respects at present but that it does work well enough on recordings which are though a very different art to that of live performance in general. I feel that my voice has possibly had some long term change post covid but of course it might simply be the passing of the time? It is really hard to tell. But the key thing in a recording is how it works as a whole, and often somehow things do turn out to be more than the some of the parts in unexpected but serendipitous ways. I shall keep on employing guile and cunning where possible to bridge any gaps in technique with slight of hand and the old magic.
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