Category Archives: Musings

Can You Really Change The Path Your Life Will take?

Delta Ladies, Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, music, Musings, other, piano works, whatever

Can You Really Change The Path Your Life will take or is it all preordained? Its something I have been thinking about a lot latterly. It often feels to me that many outcomes are a little to predictable at times as if one had a form clavoyance. Sometimes I don’t always seem to be able to keep a rational measured view on things. At times I have felt as there some strange force guiding me but also shutting certain doors and opening others. perhaps really it is just my subconscious, but it can feel like an external force almost. At my lowest ebb I have felt there is some malign force trying to knock me back when I get too cocky. Perhaps we simply have a need to apportion blame to avoid taking responsibility for our own destiny or rather the outcome of our decisions’. I have run in to an odd problem with a project that may well be simply due to me making a couple of mistakes due to a lack of concentration which hopefully I may now have fixed and whilst I know logically it’s just a mistake again my mind wants to interpret it as some sort of malign elemental force standing between me and victory.
I suspect it’s not though. My body clock is out of kilter so sleep is not so good at present as I am dreaming a lot and waking up tired too.

Currently I am having a weird problem with a release through soundclouds distro system where it keeps telling me that the audio language is incorrect. I have checked everything about 4 times now. There was an error which I have corrected but it seems not to have made any difference. If they don’t sort it out soon I will have to use a different platform I think. It’s odd as I have never had problems with them before.

When I have a problem I tend to get stuck and totally obsessed with it, it s a real nuisance at times for me. I feel it stems from a lack of control in my earlier life as a child when I was bullied and there was also a lot of gaslighting. Eventually I ended up with a belief system that if something went wrong it was always due to malicious intent or somebody trying to stop me from doing something. Sometimes it may have been but as time went by then usually it was not. Unfortunately my subconscious has never quite recovered from those fixed ideations. So one little upset when I am feeling fragile sets me off again. The worst part is that I really struggle to shift the focus of my attentions elsewhere.

Ultimately The Best Result You Can Ever Get Is A Draw

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, music, Musings, other, whatever

There is no winning ultimately. I have just taken a break from working on a new track. It’s going well but I don’t want to mess it up and a few things I tried are not turning out as I had hoped. So it is time for a tea break. Post tea break I have adopted a different strategy which seems to have worked better 🙂 So I am mixing at present. In fact I have mixed it and verily here is the song.

It was sunny again as I drove to my rehearsals in Stevenage in the afternoon. the trees are already showing signs of buds which seems very early to me, though I don’t have much knowledge of such matters. have been quite creative in musical terms this month , lots of recording and writing plus rehearsals and learning band stuff. My brain feels a bit fried though at present. I have deliberately made the effort to keep a bit busier at home to avoid too much of the usual mood crash that I always get this time of year. It’s hard to do on the days that your on your own though.

The new exercise bike is in regular use, fingers crossed it will have some health benefits in the longer term. It should increase stamina but I am not sure if it will reduce the aches and pains much though it may help with my mental health a little bit too. I have had it just a little over a week now so it’s very early days of course.

I have submitted my next Album release ” Tinfoil hat 1234″ which will go on distribution in mid February on Amazon spotty and so forth . Ok its an indulgence but it keeps me amused as I creep towards the onset of my dotage. Doing cover art is a problem so I just find a picture of me and use that now or occasionally a watercolour or pastel picture. I haven’t painted or drawn much recently though. An odd thing that occurred during the covid lockdowns was that essential I got used to being an indoor cat. Now the door is open but I am loath to walk out through it. After a while the sense of feeling trapped disappeared. I did a lot of useful and creative stuff during that time, interspersed with a few solo walks around my local area. Contrast that with now and I find it very difficult to keep focussed on anything on an at home day, when i might have a fair number of things to do. And also I try to avoid thinking too much. Its hard though. That’s often when the anxiety strikes. I am feeling a little like that tonight. A Saturday night In. Argh….

Bureaucracy and the filling of forms.

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, music, Musings, Piano, piano works

I am currently try to help my sister move nearer to me. Its may have to be some form of social housing. So far the amount of form filling has been prodigious! I do wonder how anyone gets through this stuff to be honest. One form which is still not completed has taken 4 hours.
I cannot imagine how for example a homeless person with limited resources would be able to manage this.

Here is some music to fill in in forms by.

Time Running Out

Combatting hopelessness can be a challenging journey, but there are several strategies that may help. It’s important to note that everyone is different, so what works for one person may not work for another.

Remember that it’s okay to ask for help, and progress may be gradual. If you find that your feelings of hopelessness persist or worsen, seeking professional assistance is crucial.

It’s still January whichever way you look at it.