Category Archives: whatever

Stuf that I can’t fit anywhere else…

August Round Up

It’s been an interesting month so far.  With just a bit of chaos bleeding into it.  I am fed up with aching too. Its tiring.
Yes it is but keep smiling won’t you all. 

Showbiz is all tarnished glitter though and bullshit.  People want me in bands because of my skill set (Bands of a certain age that is, of course). If I had to trade on my looks as well I would be fucked pretty much (I do seem to be the acceptable face of Trans to a degree though). I do have to make an effort though to the extent that I don’t frighten the horses and look OK on publicity stuff too. I think I often look a bit like a younger slimmer version of Myriam Margolyes in photo’s. That’s not the worst look and my slightly olive skin tone allied with a generous nose might make people think my ancestry is Mediterranean so that makes me look a bit less weird I think.

I am not really a youngster and even when I was in my 50’s I had days like this. Maybe I just expect too much at times. I am mostly more physically active than I have been for a couple of years and I simply forget it does catch up. The fact that I have a passion for music drives me one at times when the easy chair would perhaps have ensnared me permanently.

The Cowper and Newton Museum at Olney gig was very well attended, people really enjoyed it. Many compliments about my violin playing. One from a local classical player who was really knocked out by it. Slightly different to that which was planned as Jon was an hour and a half late, stuck in traffic. So Annette, Bob and I did a 35 minute set of our own to open. Jon then did his interview with the Historian chap, then we played the Olney hymns set afterwards. Jon sold a couple of Cd’s. We will do it again next summer if we are spared. 🙂 The Museum people were very helpful and nothing was too much trouble it seemed. If you are bored one day do check out the museum and garden as its well worth seeing.

Recent weird nightmares have  included being experimented on by some weird Victorian Dr mad scientist chased me with a big brass needle and injection things. I hid in a loo. Then I was hitting him with a chair and stuff over the head but he persisted….

A recent visit to the dentists, got myself a new electric toothbrush. Used one for years and a lot less bother than all that flossing business, but the old one died a few months back. My my teeth are OK so I l might as well try and keep them that way I suppose. My mouth’s a bit sore after the cleaning and polish. Still I suppose some people I know would pay good money to be tortured by a reasonably attractive women for 20 minutes…

The Covid thing has thrown me a bit. maybe in a month I will be more like my old self again? I am intend to start sorting stuff out a bit. I have a load of boxes using up space that I doubt I’ll ever need again. A mess makes me feel more confused than I actually am. I am still finding it hard to get on with stuff, its all a bit more uphill than usual. I could sit here staring in to space all day. Brain fog? I still seem to be on the one day OK next one knackered again cycle. I just need to take it easy.

Most of the time when my mental health issues present its is as anxiety and often irrational paranoia, but these two old friends don’t call as often as they used to.
The more company I get the better I am to an extent. It would be nice to have some purely social stuff occasionally but you can’t have everything 🙂

I have slightly overdosed on the nostalgia. I have been putting a lot of pictures on Instagram in the last couple of days, and suddenly felt a bit melancholic. Ho hum. The guitar part that I couldn’t get right went OK today which was pleasing so I finished that recording. I really should be sorting out my music room a bit, but there is not really enough time to do it or at least that’s my excuse anyway.Interestingly there is some research on cortisol and long Covid and/or slow recovery. Cortisol becomes depleted and below its normal level so whilst you don’t feel stressed, your adrenaline doesn’t kick in so you cannot rev up the engine at all.

I will take some vit D for a week or so which might help.

So Hot My Brain is Fried

Too hot to do anything and to hot to think as well. Hopefully the weather is supposed to break on Monday, but its really hard going as there is no way to keep the flats internal temp below 30C. We just can’t lower it whatever we do.    We have tried every trick in the book pretty much. Hi ho alas and also lack a day. 
Just stringing a few words together seems a herculean effort at present. I have resorted to keeping a small spray bottle in the fridge and misting myself with it to keep cool. It is actually remarkably effective in the short term. I did look into various cooling devices but they are not that practical due to the design of the apartment.
So the day to day is difficult right now. 

Here is a new song. It’s just Piano and Vocal on this one for a change, keeping it simple.

Let’s get back to proper English summers where you went on holiday in a caravan in Bognor Regis and the rain p***** down all night and it was so loud you couldn’t sleep. Or I could just move to Wales I suppose. In winter when it snowed just after we moved here in 2018  we had to have the heating off as there was a leak, it was 19C. Each year in winter we seem to need much less heating. But how the hell you cool it I don’t know. Not that I am obsessed you know, but please make it stop.

The war in Ukraine is rumbling on and it’s scary.  Really scary. I do wonder if I might not live to to draw my pension next year. Are we that close to a 3rd world war?
It feels like we might be. All of the certainties we had seem to be blowing away in the wind. So we wait and we worry.  Does Putin want to fulfil the words of the book?

“When the Lamb broke the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature saying, “Come.” I looked, and behold, a pale horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death; and Hades was following with him. Authority was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword and with famine and with pestilence and by the wild beasts of the earth.”

Makes you wonder what a person of  faith feels at a time like this? 

I think I need a drink, laters people and try and do no harm. 

Just a Little bit Crazy Right Now Again

 

Yep, I am just a little bit mader than usual. But then aren’t we all now. My post covid low seems to have lifted a bit  now but I am still fatigued and a prone to low grade headaches too. Its pretty warm again today about 27C and I really can’t say I am used to yet either. I am finding it difficult to keep my exercise routine going as well.  The heat is wiping me out.  A bit of lasting fatigue that I can’t really shake.  Neck ache too. I start the day OK but then I get so tired. Its definitely post viral. But enough of that for now.  The landscape is so parched now locally. The trees planted two years ago look more than half dead and there is stil no prospect of real rain. It’s a massive downer to be honest.
Everything is just shriveling up including me somewhat. I have just been for a walk down to the Great Ouse at the time of writing this nice but sad to see how badly the wild flowers are doing though its better by the river of course.  And its very difficult to keep the flat cool. One must be totally disciplined about keeping the blinds down and so forth. An hour too late and you are totally screwed.  Don’t let anyone tell you global warming is not a thing. English summers use to be interspersed with a few jolly good soakings or perhaps that just my summer holiday memories. Brain fog really is a thing.  My energy is going up day by day though.

I also did a bit of music practice and started recording a new song today.  I am working at a snail’s pace though at present.  It’s going to be hot for a while and its a bit too toasty for me.  Strange to relate there is a cool breeze  blowing from somewhere today which is very welcome. 

Here’s a song from earlier in the year.

Washing up time
washing up time

Don’t take it all too seriously, you may not come this way again.  I have always been trailer trash really.
Just call me ‘Blanche’  ….. Somebody turn down the heat please.

This coming winter is looking difficult. The increases for heat and light are more than a slight squeeze.  Hopefully we will just about be able to hack it at Chez  nous, but a lot of people are really going to suffer. It’s unfair and the government is really not taking it seriously enough. Where this is leading I dread to think.
But enough of winter. 

And whilst we are wishing, “Peace in Ukraine”.