Category Archives: history

Confidence and Imposter Syndrome

Delta Ladies, Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, history, Musings,

Some days you feel like a fraud. Well I do. Yes indeed. What’s to be done about it? I have got a little lazy recently, not learning things properly. It’s a mindset that is easy to get into. I was very anxious when I arrived at the gig yesterday. Much more than the last time I played there. I did relax as it progressed. Just one of those things I guess. If I was doing regular solo stuff I would be OK with it I think. So its all back to doing stuff locally a bit I guess if I want to try and progress that side of things more. I really do find that I cant learn stuff just for the sake of it. I have to apply it somehow for it to stick. Although I can still learn new tricks I need a reason or an external challenge to spur me on and make it stick. Solo is a rare thing for me and to be honest really a last resort unless I turn it in to a piano bar thing with lots of standards (American song book 30s to 50s) and some originals. I just prefer working with others. It’s a little less intense.My performances are a bit variable at times I feel.

The sun is out as I write today. Another week of rain expected though. I have two rehearsals this week to fit in. But not much else. I looked at a song I have written, and played it. It’s not quite ripe for recording yet though. So in the meantime I have started working on another idea.

So here is a recent one to be getting on with instead:

I must go now and check how the sunset is proceeding.

Diana Stone playing in the composing studio.

The sunset was excellent and I hartly approved of it. A very good effort indeed.

Saturday Random Thoughts

Delta Ladies, Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, music, Musings, whatever

Free will, does it exist? Search me. Well actually I would rather you didn’t unless we have been formally introduced. A typical day. A little bit of practise and rehearsal and publicity stuff (a quick piano video). And a slight headache too. I am doing a slightly more rigorous exercise regime at home now most days. Not sure its making any difference but one has to try. And I am tired again. Ho hum

This song “Tin foil hat on 1234” from last month seems to have been very popular, which is always a nice feeling. I have no idea what is about though, rather like many politicians recent speeches I have heard.

“Sometimes it’s good to remember, but not good to kiss and tell. I remember the things you did with when you had your wicked way and played the merry hell. But you left me with a smile on my face and just a little guilt. Often I was exhausted by your overwhelming ego and you passions that I could with stand, but oh those times were grand.”

“So once more around the park, though I have not now much spark. I will remember the snow in Reims and red wine, a motel and your loving grace“.

D.Stone 2024

The years come round quickly now I find. It looks like I am going to have a few gigs this year again. It should be fun I hope. 🙂 I need to get to a couple of local events from time to time. So I shall try and aim at that. If I had a few more local music mates I would be happy as a pig in shit. With the nice country side and so forth. I have a place I can make music in that’s warm and sound proof, shops and a pharmacy on the doorstep. If I can’t drive one day cabs will come here. So I am OK for the foreseeable. I don’t have any real hankering to go back to london other than for the occasional visit. The nearest I have got for quite a while is Enfield.
I have had a bit of a revelation: Why am I depressed? 1) Arthritis as the pain of that is tiring and does slow you down. 2) Getting tired/not having the energy and motivation to go to social or other music related events. 3) Not sleeping so well 4) Winter 5) Too much thinking about what I have lost due to the ravages of time. 6) Not enough shaging or rather zero, as also 1 on the list the arthritis also rather takes the fun out of that at times (not that I can remember that far back). Monogamy is overrated or was that monopoly 😉 I am still seeking counselling, but on a very basic level what I am really missing is a friend thats local. Not that you are not of course a friend but rather someone that is more attuned to my lifestyle, interests. If I were still London there would be people I could hang out with. I always feel much better having been to a rehearsal with people. My partner stops me from being lonely but our interests are very different so whilst we are company its not really enough. She will come back happier after her weekend away, though she won’t be able to quantify what she gained from it. It will simply be the effect of being part of a like minded social cohort.

Warning: Some or all of the above content may contain traces irony

Its All Too Much

Delta Ladies, Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, history, music, Musings, other, whatever,

The world keeps turning and getting further and further away from the one that I recognise or understand. Should I shut my eyes and ears to all of it? Maybe for a while, though it’s very hard. I do care about stuff but I can’t take too much more bad news to be honest. So I am just concentrating on recording and gigs and music. The day to day stuff. The mundane. So here is my latest recording.

Stuff that Dreams Are Made Of

Never give a sucker an even break. Indeed. We have its seems a school boy prime minster but he is no match for PItt the younger I venture.

“William Pitt the Younger was a British statesman, the youngest and last prime minister of Great Britain from 1783 until the Acts of Union 1800 and then first prime minister of the United Kingdom from January 1801. He left office in March 1801, but served as prime minister again from 1804 until his death in 1806.”

Now that’s what you call young. PM at 24

Meanwhile elsewhere there can be no peace, we are told.

The world is broken it seems.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

Francis of Assisi

A friend said,
Old age is said to be “a shipwreck”, and I do find it involves loss of what were once comforting certainties. I’m sure everyone experiences this to some degree. Its not our world any more, and we have to find our own way forward. Yes I think I will have to agree with that now.

And today its raining too. I am no longer running or trying to keep up. I just do what I do. Success or lack of it has in the last few month’s seemed to become a trivial matter of no importance.
I make my noises and I am happy if people like them too.

If you can follow your own star, straight on til morning, I think you will be happier for it