Yep, it’s a bit rocky again out of the blue. There’s a surprise. Not. I was reading an article about bullying and it reminded me of a lot of things.if you survive if, it’s difficult not to become that thing yourself when you misguidedly think your just trying to protect yourself. And I get triggered easily. I can often control it for a while. Months maybe then some random event sets me off, like an encounter with a footpad jumping from the shadows.
I make music for myself but also for people I will never meet most of the time. Maybe they get the best part of the deal as they can imagine me as a far better person than I actually am with out the stress of having to interact with me face to face. I get feedback from them and unlike me, my music travels around a lot of the english speaking world and also beyond it at times. It’s something that I may well still be able to do if I live past the point where I can comfortably stagger out to gigs if I dont go totally gaga. It makes me happier then I would be if I didn’t do it, so I have a bit of a sense of purpose to life. I suppose if I had actually got anywhere near the conventional idea of success I would have have been really insufferable, though I maybe in any case 🙂
I do keep a diary of my mood and what I do during the day too as it helps me keep a bit of a grip on things. its most useful when my mood is very low and I have routines to keep going when i have zero motivation to do anything at all. I do run the risk of staring into space if I am not careful when I am in that zone.
I wish I had the energy to start a band to do some of my own original music in a live format, but I just don’t have the energy to organise it now.
Getting out of bed and recording at home is nothing like having to:
#1 Convince people to play the music you write
#2 Find people that actually have the time and ability to do it
#3 Organise rehearsals at places that everybody can actually get to
#4 Convince people to play what you actually want them to play (not turning say a piano ballad into a blues tune because the song has too many chords)
#5 people that are good but only want to play in a very restricted and limited style, for example will play rock but not if it drifts in to say world music or jazz influence
The list could go to about a #100 but you get my drift. Also need to be local….
It’s the managing to make it possible rather than the playing that is the hard part.
) constantly repost fake information? You would think if they were capable of using Facebook, they would also be capable of fact checking instead of just reposting fake stuff because it happens to fit their personal prejudices’.
You must be logged in to post a comment.