When I was in my 20s to 30’s I can honestly say I lived a fairly sheltered life. But when a set of circumstances caused me to change to a very different sort of working environment I was slowly but surely exposed to many challenges about how I thought the world was, as opposed to how it actually is or was. My eyes and ears were opened. Even now though I am still stunned by much that I see and hear from supposedly educated people. Times and circumstances changed and new lessons were learned. At least in my case I believe, but perhaps it is not the same for others? And it’s difficult to have any sort of reasoned discussion with anyone quite often now. Also facts are considered to be subjective and mutable now and the thing called alternate truth which apparently exists now. It’s difficult for me to really clearly define what is happening as my vocabulary often feels inadequate when I respond. I am always worried that my comments might be misinterpreted and misunderstood.
There seem to be so many fake profiles on facebook now. I have just seen one with a verified tick but the profile name bears no relation to the url? Bot perhaps or good old fashioned troll.
Due to a set of unexpected circumstances’ I find I have a rather low key week ahead. I will try and make use of it somehow though if I can. I am keeping up the usual routine as much as I can.
Physically I am tired, though I do sleep reasonably well. I have very little confidence about going out socially on my own at present, (though I do have abit of social contact but really not quite enough) and it is making me feel a bit isolated. I am not too sure what to do about that really as my best laid plans don’t seem to be working at all. I had hoped by now it would get easier but its not working that way. I suppose fundamentally we cannot change our personality type. It’s a nuisance though. At present in between the odd gig, rehearsals and writing and recording I am watching far to much you tube. I have lost it somewhere along the way. Maybe it’s just the effect of getting a little older. Making friends is hard. Or rather finding a good close friend that you can trust is hard. Really hard. I must make the effort somehow.
Shouting in a Bucket This song is 7 years old now. That is a surprise.
Its obvious that there are a lot of inaccurate populist notions about gender/sex built mostly on fear that are exploited on both sides (and by politicians for cheap votes) and unsophisticated people will and do fall for it. And of course it helps distract from stuff like “people in small boats” and supporting a nation with military aid that is committing war crimes….In other news, I still have a decent following for my Music in both Russia and Ukraine according to my play stats. How inclusive am I then. Another moan, why is it people always assume that one has never done research into anything before commenting. Perhaps because most keyboard warriors don’t perchance?
The suns is shining again here as I type this. The daylight is lasting a little longer too now.
I have also been putting some music on TikTok as they now distribute tracks too. I am not sure how useful it is but the tracks do rack up a decent number of plays statistically if you post them with a slideshow or video.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove: O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark, That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle’s compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
—William Shakespeare
I got into a Facebook discussion against my better judgement and am feeling a bit battered by it to be honest.
On Facebook the rule seems to be never “Never let a fact get in the way”. “What larks, Pip, what larks” I have learnt my lesson….
Especially for winter. The Valentine’s day post. There are a lot of very lonely people about of a certain age it seems.
My muse is battered from overuse. I really need to creatively decompress a bit. I have been busy rehearsing new material for the 3 acts I play with and my brain is just a little fried. Ears get tired two and it’s not always possible to know what one is hearing. I haven’t run out of ideas by any means but I am getting a bit jaded and need a palette cleanser. Possibly a bit more outside influence to spice it up a little? Sometimes having total creative freedom can work against the process. The trouble is If I stop I feel I wont get started again. So I plough on perhaps slightly mechanistically.
I recorded this song at the time of writing. DON’T NEED MY PERMISSION
Here be monsters, when I read the news. Its not getting any better. You can it seems die of innocence in many parts of the world. On my drive to rehearsals the signs of an early spring are popping up. Its also very warm again for this time of year. A sign that the world is changing perhaps? Tell me if you have heard this one before. My body complains as ever so no change there. I am finding it difficult to keep up the effort to exercise daily, but hopefully over all I am doing enough.
Currently I am working on a new solo piano tune running through various variations on a theme. I will let it ferment a while.
Talking of ferment. Mostly things are jogging along reasonably OK as in having fun with music and having a bit of regular social contact. Really I can’t complain on that score. What’s going on in the world upsets me greatly. Gaza obviously. Ukraine I saw on a BBC news report is having munitions shortages now which makes me think that Putin “winning” is now very lightly indeed. Even Labour winning a couple of by-elections relatively locally did not give me much chear, as IMO as I feel they one simply by not being as awful as the other lot.
And as I type this: “Jailed Russian opposition politician Alexei Navalny dead, says prison service” https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-68316979 Well no surprise there really. They got him in the end though they took their time about it..
I had a quick panic about possible unpaid bills and of course having checked I had indeed paid them on time. What triggered it was having more money than expected. Of course it’s now a year since having a reasonable stable income that is not dependent on music and performance. My emotional brain has not caught up with my logical one yet it seems.
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