Category Archives: pictures

Groundhog Day anybody?

A certain slow rhythm has crept into my life and established itself. But the days are very similar at present.

I am not feeling that good really to be honest. I feel very isolated and somewhat threatened by malevolent forces that whilst they don’t yet affect the way I live may do. That’s my honest answer. For somebody like me that struggles with anxiety as well as bipolar everything I see chips away at my confidence or sours my enjoyment of things. It takes the colour out of life at present. So not good. Yesterday afternoon after going to the bank in Bedford I came home and sat in a chair and did nothing for about 3 hours. I did have a headache as well. Everything from Gaza to Ukraine to Trump to the resurgence of barely disguised neo-nationalism and the legitimised hate speech now starting to come from government is pretty depressing. The interpretation of the SC judgment by the EC commission is of course horrendous.

With that regard as I have said most older trans folk from my generation will not be complying with guidance. At some point there will be incidents I feel. I keep my faith in individuals but government has now lost my trust completely. To see video of labour politicians stating on video support for trans people whilst the election was on and now to hear those same politicians being either silent or like Starmer to say the polar opposite when in power has made me lose faith in notion of these people having any moral compass what so ever. So what’s the fucking point. They all sell out for the 30 pieces of silver in the end. At least Farage is honest. Vote for me and my new brown shirts and we will carry on where they left off.

Without PR there is no way to change anything. If the 16 year olds that do bother to vote in the next election do so in any significant number I wonder what they will vote for. The young people I meet I find to be mostly OK, but then they are likely to be music or arty creative types. I notice that trades people i have met dont drop a beat gas man and forth these days. So I would say day to day trans people are not perceived as partially noticeable or strange. You can tell from people’s facial expressions usually.

What I see in how people are in regard to their behaviours to me in the real world does not reflect what I see expressed on line. Is that passing privilege or nearly politeness or a bit of both? But the world feels a more hostile place generally. There was always double dealing and corruption in high places of course. I wonder what a post Trump world we be like. There is mass civil disobedience in the USA with regard to the ICE raids and a lot of farmers crops are rotting in the fields now as the illegals they relied on are not showing up. I watched videos where some farmers were shocked to find that they couldn’t hire black Americans to feel the gaps. Trumps rhetoric suggested that they would be mostly unemployed. Of course they are not. A lot of US towns are racially divided. So so places In Texas are mostly Hispanic. People out of the big city’s live very separately and don’t mix. These are regressive times. It seems to have started to change dramatically around 2015 onwards. In the UK Brexit has triggered allsorts of toxic stuff. So basically it’s the end of the enlightenment really. So things are not going to get better without a crisis of cataclysmic proportions.

Other than that every is fine.

I have expressed an interest in JCs new party as yet unnamed party.

https://www.yourparty.uk/statement

“It’s time for a new kind of political party. One that belongs to you. The system is rigged. The system is rigged when 4.5 million children live in poverty in the sixth richest country in the world. The system is rigged when giant corporations make a fortune from rising bills. The system is rigged when this government says there is no money for the poor, but billions for war. We cannot accept these injustices – and neither should you. We will only fix the crises in our society with a mass redistribution of wealth and power. That means taxing the very richest in our society. That means an NHS free from privatisation and bringing energy, water, rail and mail into public ownership. That means investing in a massive council-house building programme. That means standing up to fossil fuel giants putting their profits before our planet. Meanwhile, millions of people are horrified by the government’s complicity in crimes against humanity. Now, more than ever, we must defend the right to protest against genocide. We believe in the radical idea that all human life has equal value. That is why we will keep demanding an end to all arms sales to Israel, and for the only path to peace: a free and independent Palestine”

Our movement is made up of people of all faiths and none. The great dividers want you to think that the problems in our society are caused by migrants or refugees. They’re not. They are caused by an economic system that protects the interests of corporations and billionaires. It is ordinary people who create the wealth – and it is ordinary people who have the power to put it back where it belongs.

It’s time for a new kind of political party. One that is rooted in our communities, trade unions and social movements. One that builds power in all regions and nations. One that belongs to you.

Sign up at www.yourparty.uk to be part of the founding process, leading to an inaugural conference. At this conference, you will decide the party’s direction, the model of leadership and the policies that are needed to transform society. That is how we build a democratic movement that can take on the rich and powerful – and win.

Real change is coming.

Jeremy Corbyn MP & Zarah Sultana MP

Lets keep our fingers crossed and hope for a better day.
We dare to dream still


Are The Wheels Coming Off The Bus As They Go Round

Just maybe they are. Start of a migraine this morning. Felt a bit stressed last night. Don’t know why. Anxiety can be managed but it never quite goes away. Everything feels a bit stale suddenly and the seasons change is becoming very visible due to the dry weather. Today I feel old and perhaps now also a little irrelevant. Is there a prescription for that? Apparently not it most cases.

The older I get the more I realise that it’s not about being right or wrong it’s just trying to do no harm. My legacy (if I were to have one ) would I hope be that one or two people liked me and maybe enjoyed my music and didn’t think I was a too much of a c****. If I am singing Bessie Smith’s’ “Me and my gin” people like the racket I make and that weird noise that comes out is me, not me pretending to be somebody or something else…. Much like when I am singing my own songs I guess. I have some rude songs that I have never recorded as well. What am I like 😉

At present I am trying to convince my sister that with regard to her arm injury and the NHS screw up related to it a bad deal may be better than no deal as I think the best she can get is a compromise. Also I think the original consultant may have been over optimistic. Perhaps even to keep her spirits up. I don’t want to stop her trying to get the best fix possible but the effort required for an uncertain outcome may be frankly a waste of time. So that is a bit of a worry.
She is back in court very soon and hopefully to finally sort out a final ruling on inheritance from her partner which has been going on for about 3 years since he died.

Everything is fading. Really it is. I have been working on some new music, but it’s got very hot and I am taking a break. Yesterday it was 20C today its near to 30C. Crazy weather.
Played through some stuff on the piano to loosen up and I am totally knackered.

A few tunes

Going Forward Then Boldly?

My Covid is slowly abating thank goodness though I am pretty fatigued so my plan for world domination is going to be delayed again ever so slightly. Everything aches but I am just about functional though a little bit more chaotic than usual. My brains a bit fried so i may not be too creative right now. I haven’t seen the Aurora. There might be a slight chance of it being visible tonight though I am not holding my breath. I notice that in the last couple of years a lot of internet content seems to be disappearing behind paywalls which is a shame as it means I no longer get to see a lot of stuff as an older person(pensioner/senior) on a limited income I simple can’t afford to set up multiple subscriptions for stuff much as I would like to be able to support independent writers and journalists.

I am feeling better but very fatigued and hopefully the Covid is almost gone. It peaked on the day I actually got the positive test result, so its lasted about 9 days from start to finish. That’s not to bad as when I had it in 2022 it was very severe and I was ill for nearly 3 weeks. Also then it left me quite wobbly and fatigued for about a month. Last night I glanced a loft a couple of times but alas no aurora. I also watched a few minutes of the new Dr Who. I expect I give that a go on Iplayer at some point. I also thought I would listen to the Eurovision winning song. Not really my sort of thing being an ageing Prog rock, Folk and Jazz/ Classical music fan. But clever production and all that. As for the dancing up and down the weird wobbly disc thing, fair play but Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers would have done it better. Also would not have worn those shoes with that frock 😉

Disclaimer: All opinions are those of a grumpy 67 year old still trying to navigate through an uncertain and contrarian existence whilst also avoiding existential crisis and exorbitant utility bills.