If only I could hit the the road again.

In what world of absolute fuckerry is required to wake people at 05:00 to weight them. Seriously. BP and stats make sense but don’t really require you to move or wake up. So instead of having a perfectly good sleep I am now wide awake. Its not like I am going to be anywhere else in 2 hours time..I am struggling again. My reserves are depleted now. Scared, not entirely rational and feeling very alone. I am about to start week 8 in hospital and cannot imagine ever going home again. I am past tears, a bit past hope. It’s just day to day survival now. People come and go but I remain feeling like I am in a warehouse waiting to be shipped having no idea where or when. Well another Saturday night in my room.

The odd distant rumble and crack of fireworks mostly unseen as we face south so away from Bedford. I do like to see fireworks but appreciate that animals are often very distressed by them. They are then best at an organised display and do not need to be loud. So sad to hear the news from Krakow tonight too of course.The world seems very disturbed right now

Away but only in my dreams to be honest. I am still waiting to see when i get a date for Papworth. Don’t think I will hear this weekend somehow. Patience is required right now.
I nearly upset a friend by answering a question too honestly.who we are and are driven by very different needs and upbringing of course. As a child I was not particularly sociable but usually had on friend. At infants school I had a friend called Belinda who was often my companion for games of imagination for quite a while. I did stay close to my mother whilst at home and once I learnt to read did become somewhat bookish.