Monthly Archives: April 2024

The Old Ways And The New Ways

Tried and trusted or new and unexplored? You the jury must decide. I haven’t got a clue. So another week of rehearsals (a video shoot for the folk band) and recording is expected. No gigs this week though. Today is flashing by at a rate of knots. I am still fairly prone to anxiety but I seem to be better at managing it than I used to be. It does sneak up on me though, usually when I am chilling out or at least trying to. Echoes from the past do jump out at me from the shadows and unhinge me still even now.

“Falling Down Again”
A recent recording of mine with a mild jazz influence to it. The lyrics are somewhat ambiguous as usual I am afraid. But hey it is what it is, maybe you can tell me what you think it’s all about?
Or not.

Currently Bedford seems to be the rain capital of the UK. Though its actually stopped for a moment A strange thing happened that made me wonder about the world we don’t see. Maybe it was just coincidence or serendipity? Do our thoughts sometimes communicate in other ways than just the senses we know, is our mind something beyond just the body, perhaps even capable of existing outside the realm of what we perceive as time. I asked a question and it feels like the universal mind replied maybe… Or I could just be delusional of course. We like to have order and our brains try to make connections and correlations. But I like the idea of something other and greater and perhaps wiser. Invisible Sky Mummy/Daddy/Entity have you got any good advice for me today? I feel like I am tripping my nuts off as they used to say, perhaps its all my supplements I take in a desperate attempt to claw back a reprieve from reaper time. I am still fighting the usual battles with anxiety and depression. This week I have have only one rehearsal (social opportunity too of course) now as the Tuesday one was cancelled due to ill health. So I am at a bit of a loss today.

I seem to have a very limited concentration span these days, is that the effect of instant gratification social media perhaps? A friend who reads a lot has really discovered the joy of it again after a weeks holiday. There is so much distraction so it’s easy to get over stimulated. Also perhaps a bit of FOMO unless you are a bit of a bookworm. In between writing this I am adding keyboard parts to a track I am working on. Its very quiet here at present, hardly anyone about on the street outside. That’s good but sometimes it is just too quiet for me.

Often it feels like we are already living in an alternate reality to be honest. And sometimes I feel like a cartoon character and my grip on reality is week at best. i would like to spread a little bit more love and light into the world but I really don’t know how. I feel pretty powerless most of the time now. So if I can make you smile or laugh a little or even move or stir your soul a little I am pleased. I wish you Peace and Love and a Safe Home.

How much ego is too much ego? I think this is particularly relevant to performers and artists. You need it to function but ultimately it might just eat you up. Am I vain. Yep definitely that too.
Tik Tok made me do it 😉

I love street view, wandering around the places I will never go. The places where distant Facebook buddys live. Cruising around the virtual neighbourhoods and all of that. It helps keep me moderately sane.

A Blurry night in Prague with Friend's

I wonder what happened to those shoes?

Humble, How is That Working For You

I don’t like to push to much, but that’s hard if you make music and actually want it to be heard by anyone. Also I try to not get pretentious and keep a light touch and a sense of humour, but that is not always to my advantage. We are not judging you….

Vicky martin and Diana Stone

I have had a week of self doubt about what I am doing, triggered perhaps by as usual to much introspection. I listened to a couple of recent tracks that I though were not so good and after a break from them they actually sounded rather better than I had though at first listen. Ear saturation perhaps? Particularly when listening to the sound of your own voice where over familiarity breeds utter concontempt. But what is there to do but just keep pushing on…

I played at an Irish style session last night with the Also Rans (a loose Irish collective) and it was a fine and pleasant evening of music for a Saturday night. There is something to be said for simplicity at times. I need to relearn that on occasion. Whilst talking casually a couple of people were surprised at my age, (I can’t recall how it came up in conversation) but I said it’s all an illusion, slights of hand and deception. I do forget and then my body reminds me 🙂

Waiting and Waiting

Don’t you hate waiting, at the dentist or for the cable guy or the automobile association.

On a recent rehearsal with Jon Bickley with we played our next gig set 3 times in a row. A bit of a workout, but we also videoed it too. Next week we will do the same thing again. Its for a gig in Amersham in a month or so. I don’t play many gigs these days and I also play with several bands, duos and also solo. These days every gig is often completely different. As time has gone on my personal position in terms of security and finance has become more stable whereas other people i know are now now not so assured and comfortable as they were.
I am still very anxious which is triggered I believe mostly by personal issues, but almost any new activity it seems can set it off. Good bad or different or indifferent. Even if it’s something I am really looking forward to. Crazy.

So today is a waiting day. Ho Hum. Blogg on then. I have a new tune, but not all words for it yet.
And very little inspiration either. I have drawn a mental blank.
Feelings though do wash over me at times, a little out of control and they rattle my cage.

Currently I am playing with the vocal processor on a track. Its quite an interesting sound as I am singing quite jazzy lines and the effect is both pleasing but also very weird harmonically. I will put on a “straight” vocal line too and maybe use a bit of both in the mix. I have no idea if this track will work as its got very weird. Its definitely a marmite song. But sometimes you just have to let loose and get off the leash. Its brewing up for something though.

This is a tune of Vicky Martins which was finished after her death.

This a lyric that I am using in a new song that’s currently in the process of being recorded.
It will be either too weird or very good 😂

Lost to others in all but dreams

Today is the day you thought you were waiting for.

All worries and sin is cleansed and swept away, but you don’t feel any better.
You just sit reading that letter, is it better to have loved and lost at all.
One day you will get the call, then you will stumble and you will fall. And wonder how this ever came to be. One moment on the bank then you slip into the stream and times current pulls your head under and you are lost to others in all but dreams.

I wish that you had held your hand out and i could have grabbed it very tight. I would have held onto you and pulled with all my might. My grip though would be as tight as days have passed and strength has withered on the vine. And then you slip out of my grasp.

Today is the day that you will never know, that you never knew. But we that still see you are all left behind.

D.Stone

A partial lyric.

Some of the graphic humour of Vicky Martin