Category Archives: Musings

Adventures in Normality Land

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, music, Musings

Yep. Well actually no. It’s not really normal yet, very far from it. Yesterday was a bad day it must be said.   I feel a long way from everything and everyone. Disconnected. Its not getting any better either. I am sure I am not the only one that’s ever felt like this of course, but its the first time I have had this for anything but an instant.   Ho hum, alas  and alack.  And still everything hurts randomly. Its not getting any easier at present. 

Here’s a tune from a couple of years back. A fairly straightforward rock song. 
It’s another bit of space cadet sounding stuff lyrically though relatively straight forward musically.

Diana Stone Studi picture

Diana Stone Studio picture August 2021

It or what is it or why don’t you 

“The silence breaks through again and suddenly the world has stopped and there is suffering everywhere but it is  unseen from these windows. 

The question comes, “You never talk about it” because to me its is an irrelevance. My identity it is but also equally it is not.  Am I what I do are what you know about me or even what I know about myself or at least think that I do?

And also what is It, my it or your it or their it  Actually that’s not it.

  I am not me then but perhaps a projection  or a reflection or an echo or a thought in my head  as everyday I am me but also someone else that I dont recognise, but its is not truly a disguise.  My  eyes don’t change.”

Existentialist cobblers. Perhaps. Discuss…..


    

Introspection and the Landscape in my Head

Diana Stones Songs, music, Musings, other

My head. You don’t want to wander around in there uninvited if you know whats good for you.  Far better take care and beware I say. Its monday as I write this having wrestled with a violin part for a recent tune that turned out to be more of a stretch than I anticipated.  It has worked out although I did think at one point I would have to abandon it.  I will let the rest of the world judge its worth or lack of same.

I seem to be having a lot of headaches at the moment, which might be sinus related.  It’s tiring.  Still I have had a reasonably useful day. I need to do some minor organization and tidying up in the studio room as its getting a bit messy and unpleasant to work in in some respects. Due to lockdown and other stuff  have though spent far longer in here at a stretch than I  used to though, but then I have also spent far longer at home that for any time in my life in the last 20 years or so .  As I write this I have become quite anxious and can not seem to shake it off. Its weird as it always seem to come out of nowhere, blown like invisible spores. Sometimes the body is sending signals for a reason too that one does not always receive and respond appropriately to.  

Music projects are proceeding as expected.  There is not much likelihood of anything live on the horizon at present unfortunately. Its still looking very much like this year continues to be flat in that respect.  I do miss live performance a lot. Both the musical and the social  aspects equally. I also miss the phone calls that no longer come and the now permanently absent friends.   That takes the wind out of my sails with a vengeance and then I am becalmed and likely to become ensnared in a mental sargasso sea of stagnation. Its like standing at the very edge of the universe knowing that you can never return home. You could go forward but never back as its expanding faster than you can fly. I stole that from a recent film as it fits the bill. 

Covid is still with us after 19 months or so and affecting pretty much  everything to some degree or other.  The new normal doesn’t feel anything like normal to me to be honest. And I have lost my confidence in public spaces having hardly been in any for 9 moths or more.  The lack of social interaction is also wearing me down.  I am keeping a reasonable outlook on the whole, but some days are very hard work.  I wonder if it’s going to be like this going forward for me now?   If I try and relax I get anxious, but I get just as anxious when I do have something to do even if it’s something I am looking forward to. At my age I should be long past this sort of rubbish. I feel like a teeanger but I am getting hale and ancient. When I actually remember how old I am it comes as a shock  to the system like plunging under a very cold shower or the feeling when you wake from a dream and feel completely disoriented. 

My new release “If I Am Spared”  is now live on streaming services

Spotify  https://open.spotify.com/album/7lS2Oxo2CHi06Lg9F0yMOY
Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09B5D4M96/ref=dm_ws_sp_ps_dp
Youtube music  https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kSJtNpSm-TblrYvwgB9dU6-sIEyMzE6EM
Apple https://music.apple.com/gb/album/if-i-am-spared/1578105477

And the other place you can google for 🙂
       

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
 

 

The land of Woo and Wonderment

Delta Ladies, Diana Stones Songs, history, Musings, whatever
Diana Stone Is Trouble
Diana Stone Is Trouble

This could be it or not. Well I got my wish for it to cool down and it has. A lot.
I have had some news about collaborative projects going ahead  so that’s good news. 
I feel a bit worn out and I have not been out much this week due to the heat which has dampened my spirits.  My back is playing up a lot too. and I feel like I have been in a fight.  I can’t get going musically at present. My latest release for Amazon/Spotify/YouTube and Apple music and the rest has just been cleared for release and will be available from August 6. 

 

At present I am feeling somewhat wrapped up in my own thoughts. A few things are praying on my mind somewhat.  My own mortality being one of them.  It may be that having been thrown back on my own resources I have focused too much on the bad things then I was busy doing gigs and just trying to figure out how to keep paying the bills I was mostly quite happy. Now I am likely to have financial stability for the rest of my natural life be that days weeks or decades. I ache but that comes and goes. Some days I feel I will die imminently. The fact that my dad went so quickly sort if makes me feel as I might do the same despite any mitigating circumstances in my own life (40 years of being veggie/ vegan almost) and having various tests in my late 50s for health that showed no increased risk of anything much. I have too much time to think. I always think I will be dead in a month or so of something dreadful. And I worry about running out of money all the time and what may happen.  It’s not entirely rational  I know.  

I have been continuing to scribble down musical ideas  as usual this week of course.
And sticking some new letters on my computer keyboard as they are wearing off again.
Yes I need a new one so I really ought to sought that out as it  could be cheaper than the stickers. It will do for now though I guess. 

After having lived here for nearly 4 years  we have finally said goodbye to the building site opposite our place and now have an open park leading down to the water meadow country park and the river Great Ouse. I finally set foot on the path today and it completely changes the outlook from out veranda.  Plenty of people are now using it. It will take a while to get established as there is not much grass at the top end yet and the ground is very dry.  

I have hardly been out for a week., the recent spell of very hot weather was a little too much for me to deal with.  Also no music related visitors or a places to be. I need to check the car is OK or it might sulk.  I have had it for 5 years now. It’s got a few dings and scrapes on it so it looks a little careworn now rather like me  🙂 It has over all served me very well and I have done around 60,000 miles in it. Mostly to and from gigs. This last year it hasn’t really moved much at all though. The odd drive in the country and a few of music related trips down the M1. mostly though its been standing about looking a trifle forlorn. 

Some of the solo projects I have been thinking about have slightly stalled, (Covid restrictions have affected things of )  plus also as much due to a bit of a wobble in confidence.   One thing that has occured is words coming to me again. Words for songs, perhaps words for other things too. After a long time of having really nothing to say.  Living in your own head too much in a great wash of introspection may be OK if you are a genius writer or scientist or philosopher  but not perhaps if otherwise. Forcing myself to actually write down what’s going through my head is actually quite helpful to give a little extra clarity.