Lions Mane, does it work? Maybe. I have been taking it for about 3 weeks approx now and I feel it has made me less fatigued and mentally a little sharper, but also less depressed. That’s a major benefit if it really is working. it’s not expensive and it’s been in use for centuries’ apparently so I feel it is worth a go.

A new song:

Wondering If You Could Tell Me

Currently a few things are on the boil and the car is still not running yet, though work is in hand.

One of the hardest things things I have found to deal with is the fact that so many of us are seen as one dimensional figures through the filter of social media. For that reason I am very careful to try and not be dismissive of others as often they may well have a back story and wealth of experience that one is totally unaware of.

Conversely I forget that people will also of course not be aware of much of what I have done, been involved in doing over the years outside the field of music. But it can grate a bit when you have do have technical knowledge and experience in a certain field to have to justify yourself to people that have not even bothered to check their own facts first before starting a debate/argument. I guess that is the human experience.

A friend sadly now no longer with us used to get very upset after doing favours and helping people out to find that rarely if ever was it reciprocal. My friend was a perpetual optimist it must be said but was often taken in believing that everything was transactional. Its difficult to find a balance. I have found people often commit to things that in reality they will not be able to do even if they take a sacred oath or sign a parchment at midnight in blood . So if I am able to help somebody out I try to do it with no expectations of any sort of reward because it seems to be the thing to do. If a little good comes back to me that’s a bonus. Sometimes the people that you have the highest expectations of turn out to be the ones least lightly to throw you a life belt….

It seems to me at present that I am a little bit stuck again and I am not entirely sure what my next move should be. I am not as fatigued as I was at Christmas which is helping. But I am lacking a bit of magic generally. My mission this year has to be to try and make some local acquaintances if not friends. Maybe it’s not possible of course but it’s worth a try. I lost trans friends because a lot of mine transitioned and had GRS and that became there life to the exclusion of other things. By the time they were post op and settled we did not have much on common. As I mentioned many were successful people with there shit together. I was invited on holidays but couldn’t afford it. That sort of thing. There was also a sort of trans apartheid with many separatists who though us non surgical types were frivolous dilettantes to contend with and also 17 years of not being around due to playing gigs. My problems were maybe self inflicted a little as I didn’t give time to my mental health and wellbeing in terms of dealing with gender issues that I could have discussed with others maybe?