Or will you, maybe in a quantum world you get infinite goes in the multiverse or is it just time for my meds again? Could be I guess. I am aware that as time passes I think much more about the why of existence and the further I feel from it having any meaning I can decipher from it.
Perhaps the point is simply that there is no point? Yes but your mama said it’s rude to point didn’t she? Now if I feel the urge to stare into the abyss I reach for the wine. Best I can do really. That and radio 4 on a quiet day when your intrusive thoughts are just a little too intrusive.
its raining and it’s dull and my creative hat is in the wash at present and I am wearing my slightly anxious one instead. As I write this it’s July 4th and my latest release goes live on spotty Amazon and most other streaming services.
Its called “Is It Falling On You”
https://music.apple.com/us/artist/1564328495
https://open.spotify.com/artist/7m1KORirDEpH1IzIKGdQsa
And other streaming services …
https://music.amazon.co.uk/albums/B0C8M656ZW?marketplaceId=A1F83G8C2ARO7P&musicTerritory=GB&ref=dm_sh_PdvZm4Um6iHLqaMwYznzmG2kE.
Its weird, things are OK ish in the main. Musical opportunities’ are increasing but I feel a bit jaded. It’s not logical. A slight air of grumpiness developing today. Not sure why as things are mostly OK at present? Weird how moods just drift in like a sea mist from nowhere? Ok it is a rainy day too, but we need rain so much now.
Am I crazy. possibly by some peoples standards I am. A raddled old hag perhaps with only the ghost of a chance in the frenzied life dance. I have a friend who says the world is going to wrack and ruin but I tend more to think its already got there for some folks in many respects. I am still feeling a bit fragile mentally today to be honest. I roll along feeling ok for a few days then I get hit with a dose of existential dread almost. Weird. Nothing materially changes but the the mood hits out of nowhere. So for me normal. Hoping to will wear off as I am out doing a guest spot at a pub on the eve of writing this. I am slightly dubious about it to be honest and on this occasion would frankly rather not. We have had about 24 hours of rain but it the suns out now finally. I was listening to some of my back catalogue and also that of the Delta Ladies. I was surprised at how “gothic” it sounded and very dark and mournful. I can see why it made an impression. I also listened to a few recordings by other artists from the 60s and 70s and in particular the sound of those albums. Then I came back to listen to some of my own tracks and thought actually not too shabby after all. But I have now formed an idea or two to try something a little different going forward now. I just need the resolve to actually get on and do it. In between the creaking and groaning noises that my body makes like a sailing ship as its timbers swell and then contract again which is now often a part of the soundtrack of my daily life.