This could be it or not. Well I got my wish for it to cool down and it has. A lot.
I have had some news about collaborative projects going ahead so that’s good news.
I feel a bit worn out and I have not been out much this week due to the heat which has dampened my spirits. My back is playing up a lot too. and I feel like I have been in a fight. I can’t get going musically at present. My latest release for Amazon/Spotify/YouTube and Apple music and the rest has just been cleared for release and will be available from August 6.
At present I am feeling somewhat wrapped up in my own thoughts. A few things are praying on my mind somewhat. My own mortality being one of them. It may be that having been thrown back on my own resources I have focused too much on the bad things then I was busy doing gigs and just trying to figure out how to keep paying the bills I was mostly quite happy. Now I am likely to have financial stability for the rest of my natural life be that days weeks or decades. I ache but that comes and goes. Some days I feel I will die imminently. The fact that my dad went so quickly sort if makes me feel as I might do the same despite any mitigating circumstances in my own life (40 years of being veggie/ vegan almost) and having various tests in my late 50s for health that showed no increased risk of anything much. I have too much time to think. I always think I will be dead in a month or so of something dreadful. And I worry about running out of money all the time and what may happen. It’s not entirely rational I know.
I have been continuing to scribble down musical ideas as usual this week of course.
And sticking some new letters on my computer keyboard as they are wearing off again.
Yes I need a new one so I really ought to sought that out as it could be cheaper than the stickers. It will do for now though I guess.
After having lived here for nearly 4 years we have finally said goodbye to the building site opposite our place and now have an open park leading down to the water meadow country park and the river Great Ouse. I finally set foot on the path today and it completely changes the outlook from out veranda. Plenty of people are now using it. It will take a while to get established as there is not much grass at the top end yet and the ground is very dry.
I have hardly been out for a week., the recent spell of very hot weather was a little too much for me to deal with. Also no music related visitors or a places to be. I need to check the car is OK or it might sulk. I have had it for 5 years now. It’s got a few dings and scrapes on it so it looks a little careworn now rather like me 🙂 It has over all served me very well and I have done around 60,000 miles in it. Mostly to and from gigs. This last year it hasn’t really moved much at all though. The odd drive in the country and a few of music related trips down the M1. mostly though its been standing about looking a trifle forlorn.
Some of the solo projects I have been thinking about have slightly stalled, (Covid restrictions have affected things of ) plus also as much due to a bit of a wobble in confidence. One thing that has occured is words coming to me again. Words for songs, perhaps words for other things too. After a long time of having really nothing to say. Living in your own head too much in a great wash of introspection may be OK if you are a genius writer or scientist or philosopher but not perhaps if otherwise. Forcing myself to actually write down what’s going through my head is actually quite helpful to give a little extra clarity.