Monthly Archives: May 2021

For the first time in about 6 months I actually played with another musician in the same room.  It really felt quite exhilarating and very different from the online virtual though realtime sessions I have been doing via cleen feed and similar.  Also the furthest  I have been from Bedford and its environs for a fair old while too. We  recorded the session and there was a good dynamic and energy.  Even the much driven M1 seemed a place of exoctic adventure and the return rush hour traffic whilst wearisome was not so much of a grind as often it seemed in the past. So a small start but a step in the right direction. Some more  normal or near normal interactions are pretty much essential now for my mental health as much as for my creativity too. Some days are hard work though.  Talking to people helps of course though but its not quite enough.    
    

     

A slow opening up has started.

 

 

Today I was out again having tea in Bedford park.  It’s been bright and sunny with quite a lot of people out enjoying themselves. The late spring is now gathering momentum too. I am feeling a bit low again. Starting to get out again is nice but I am feeling worse when I come home.  But there are a few little glimmers of hope   

It was good talking and walking in the sunshine yesterday if nothing else. Re Depression. What I have now seems to be more reactive. If I have stuff to do it goes away sufficiently. So as things are developing and more opportunities to interact with people face to face develop that should help quite a bit. The key difference is it’s me making my own decisions re music and life in general where as before I was heavily influenced /guided for good or ill  by close friends and not making to many of my own decisions. Advice like  “live a quiet life, that will do” so as to avoid stress and anxiety. That dosent really work for me, though I could totally see their point of view in  the matter. I still feel that things won’t’ turn the corner until next year as there will still be a lot of Covid restrictions that restrict opportunities particularly for lower  level live music events. Also having a full band again would help a bit too I suppose.  Currently there is threat of an extension to lockdown again looming.  I really do hope not or at least that restrictions do not become too severe again.     

And so we wait…  

I am still managing to keep up with the creative side of music though, just about.