Monthly Archives: May 2021

Lost the plot if there was one

I have lost the plot recently to some extent. The usual fight with depression and anxiety. I looked back to see what I was doing recording and writing wise last Autumn and Winter. It was quite a lot of material. Some times 8 tracks a month or more. An insane amount really. Now emotionally things have calmed down and I have stopped frantic though actually quite productive activity. So I need to take a few chances with regard to other people and influences, with other ideas. I need people to bounce ideas off. I think I could have handled the bereavements OK if we hadn’t suffered the covid lockdowns. That was the one step beyond I think. Previously when I have felt like this the routine obligations have kept me going but now there are none. Everything is on tap and if I were to order food to be delivered I would not have any reason to leave the premises. That might work for some folks. The paradox is I need to connect with people but I am rubbish at that sort of thing. I am having to try to improve those skills now of necessity as I always relied on have one or two friends that were a gateway to a social life. So a weird combination of events has lead me to this. I grant that it may be the case that its me and a million others in manys of course. 

So I know what’s up, but I can’t see how to fix it. I have found a few more useful strengthening exercises for my arms, which are weak due to my back problems. Just started them and they do hurt a bit but long term they should help get me back on track with a bit of luck..

Still rusty and creaking.

Despite my best efforts I am still plagued with aches and pains and its tiring.  
After playing for 2 hours and 2 hours driving yesterday for  a rehearsal and a  recording, I  felt great when I got home yesterday but I am very stiff and aching this morning. I don’t feel so tired though and I slept better without waking up several times. I have added a couple of new moves to the exercise routine from today. So maybe that will help a little. Its irritating as you think there is an improvement and then suddenly it feels like you are back where you started from.  I am sure though this is a familiar experience to so many of us of course.

I note that  many people are doing outdoor gigs at the same local places they used to play at again. I have looked but there still doesn’t’ really  seem to be much locally. its a good sign though of course. Efforts to get some local interested musicians to play live with  are somewhat stalled at present  though which is frustrating.  It is the time of year for people to be  going on holidays and so forth of course. I do hope by late summer there is some possibility of something to get involved in locally at least.