A few hiccups’ and we are off ploding slowly down the lane in the winter sunshine and as usual chaos reigns in world affairs. The usual aches and pains kick off which is of course no surprise.
It’s tiring though at a very tiring time of year. I ordered some new glasses as my prescription has changed very slightly but managed to mess it up. Fortunately the online checking system caught the error. I had put a plus instead of minus sign next to one figure, but all is well now we hope. I was able to correct the error via an online advisor. I will find out in a week or so if all is well.. amazingly a day later they have arrived and are fine.

And here is this week’s musical offering 🎶

I have been thinking I should get more into video to help promote my music, a few little experiments with AI have been fun but I think I need a green screen and have now ordered one. It was not expensive so a low risk experiment really. A friend has one and uses it to great advantage so that might be the way to go to make things a bit more interesting.
I have got into a dreadful mood today for no particular reason at all. Winter crap kicking in I suppose to be honest. Its always a fight this time of year for me. I just need to avoid getting a little unhinged from too much of my own company which seems to be the problem at the time of writing. I have just finished a recording. It might be complete crap. Who knows? I have let it loose upon the unsuspecting world to do its worst.

Renee Nicole Good, a 37-year-old US citizen, was killed when an ICE agent shot into her vehicle during an encounter Wednesday morning.

The shooting took place on a snow-lined street where an ICE vehicle had gotten stuck, according to Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem. A “mob of agitators that were harassing them,” blocked them in and attempted to impede their efforts, Noem said.

One of those vehicles was being driven by the victim, who proceeded to “weaponize her vehicle” in an attempt to run over an officer before he opened fire, Noem said.

While Noem defended the agent’s actions, state and local officials strongly disputed claims that the shooting – which was caught on video – was done in self-defense.

The shooting has spiked already-heightened tensions in Minneapolis, where around 2,000 federal agents were deployed this week as part of the Trump administration’s latest immigration crackdown. The deployment came on the heels of accusations of welfare fraud in the Somali immigrant community raised by a conservative content creator on YouTube.

Good lived in the Twin Cities with her partner, the Minnesota Star Tribune reported citing her mother, Donna Ganger.

“Renee was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known,” Ganger told the newspaper. “She was extremely compassionate.”

“She’s taken care of people all her life,” Ganger added. “She was loving, forgiving and affectionate. She was an amazing human being.”

Good was a mother to a 6-year-old child whose father died in 2023, according to the Star Tribune. “There’s nobody else in his life,” the child’s grandfather told the newspaper.

Good spent most of her life in Colorado and briefly moved to Kansas to live with her parents for a time after her husband – a military veteran – died, her father Tim Ganger told The Washington Post.

“She had a good life, but a hard life,” Tim Ganger told the Post. “She was a wonderful person.”

Speaking to CNN affiliate KMGH, Good’s uncle Robert Ganger, said news of his niece’s passing was especially difficult for the family since Good’s older sister was celebrating her birthday on Wednesday.

Born in Colorado, Renee Nicole Macklin Good, 37, was a mother of three who had recently moved to Minnesota, according to the Associated Press.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for friends.

John 15:13

There are a lot of really unhinged mostly xenophobic people on Facebook and for some reason I seem to get a lot of friend requests from them. Quite why I should be honored in such away I am unsure. I am also a tad mentally becalmed or at least making very little headway but for very different reasons of course. Creatively I have had a busy year and now I feel a bit drained. As I said previously I need to get out a bit more where people are but I feel a bit reticent to do so when it comes to the act rather than the deed at the moment. It’s that fear of rejection thing in my case. I do need to expand my comfort zone as I have been trying a bit too much to avoid stress and sort of shut myself off with a bit of a wall around me. I need to loosen up a bit I think but the question is how though. Still ploughing on with the day to day though, music and what not. And oh my it’s cold out… I had a migraine this morning but the visuals have worn off but my head still hurts and I feel tired. I have plodded on with things a bit though.

Here is my wish list which I feel can only be achieved by an occurrence of serendipity. My ideal musical partner (to expand my horizon) would be someone that can play a bit (preferably guitar but ability on other instrument as well might be a plus as that will complement violin and or keyboard) maybe also sing in tune. Read a lead sheet/chord sheet so that they can learn new stuff without it taking forever. I have met people who play well but just cant learn anything other than what they already know. Happy to play/sing originals and covers. If they were also a writer/composer that would work if not an ego tripping loon. Not frightened of their own shadow. Ideally a male musician as doubles as chaperone/bodyguard assistant lifter of heavy things. Also particularly in a duo format it tends to look right. Not frightened to busk (as in play stuff you don’t know really well, not the freezing you extremities’ off with a hat in street) or improvise a bit. There are lots of people like that, but guess what they are all already in a band it seems.

In my dreams santa brought me this even though I was very very naughty 🙂
imagine all the fun you could be having if you were in my band….

Its just that time of year again I guess really and nothing more. Everything stops but mostly it starts again. I never really stop doing stuff. If something fails completely then a sideways move or possibility can sometimes appear out of the blue, often at a point where one feels everything is rusted and seized up beyond redemption. I looked at a few old diary entries for this time of year and stuff happened but little was achieved it seemed to be honest. I have a stronger sense of things ending generally this year than I usually do at this time of year, a physical and metaphorical feeling in my bones one might say… But is it simply that usual winter feeling? Probably. I realised that it’s time to stretch my comfort zone again and expand it a bit to try and feel a bit less stuck again. I have been playing it very safe recently i think and I do need to really try and mix a bit more socially again but I have been literally shying away.

Its that thinking time of year again, not so much for grand plans but more just reviewing the old years events at its end and wondering a little bit about the coming one. My personal worlds boundary has shrunk a bit. Not a sudden thing but events nibble away sometimes at ones confidence and reversing that trend is not always so easy. The risk is doing something really risky or silly in a mad moment for me right now.

You will be expecting a new tune no doubt so as not to disappoint here it is:

Today did not go to plan but Ho hum… Plans indeed. So one foot in front of the other and try to keep sane I guess. These inbetween days are difficult as whilst I am occupied its fine but thoughts wander to the sad and also rather odd places between dreams and desires that cannot be satisfied without the risk of raining down destruction in a careless moment.