Category Archives: Diana Stones Songs

Diana Stones music

Feb 2021 part 2

Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, Musings

Thank goodness its warming up a bit finally.  So a chance to take a bit of stroll is now possible in relative comfort again. Today there was a decent amount of winter sunshine and buds are starting on the trees too. So a pleasant reminder of life renewing again for in preparation for spring. I am now on week 5 of my extended exercise routine and I am less anxious so that is  one tangible benefit at least.  its a hard slog at times though as I ma very stiff when i wake up most mornings and it takes a while to get going. It’s different every day of course though. Perhaps I am slightly less depressed now, but feeling well enough to  just to be getting a tiny bit bored.  I need to start my clearing out process now too.  Perhaps those many cardboard boxes can be flattened out now? 

What do people talk about at the moment?  “Hello, just ringing to say I didn’t go out again today”.  It’s weird.   Its also tiring too. We are all trying of course to add a bit of meaning to the days.  I am setting  myself a few challenges musically and in a couple of other areas too. Hopefully I can hang on to some degree of sanity that way.   The virtual world is a thin substitute for normal interactions. We are all in our bubbles for so  much of the time now. Too much time to think?  Maybe. 

Currently I can indulge myself with reruns of my favorite sci-fi series at least.  Its a welcome relief from present reality like pizza and beer when appropriate.  Or wine of course, Its all cool. Sort off. 

So if we all get through this I have got to try and lean to win friends and influence people. Only joking, sort of.  Hello rest of the world I am still here I think.   Most days start well enough but the limited amount of umph soon runs out I am saddened to say. The call of the duvet is strong at present. Winter evenings should have the option of going for a swift half at least.  So another grand night in again.

To me, fair friend, you never can be old

— SONNET 104, LINE 1

But where there is true friendship, there needs none

— TIMON OF ATHENS, ACT 1 SCENE 2, LINE 17; TIMON

Can we ever say more than we did our best?

Delta Ladies, Diana Stones Songs, glass cage, music, Musings, whatever

Can we ever say more than we did our best?  I am not sure we can really. I am mired in gloom today and not really sure why. The sun was out on a crisp winters day.  I took a brief trip to the shop to collect from the amazon locker.  Came home and tried to work on some project stuff but I couldn’t get motivated at all, though I did start a lyric and a couple of ideas for a tune or possibly two.  Its the first week of my extended exercise routine and I think its helpful.  I need to keep fairly mobile now if I can. Otherwise if I ever play a gig again I will  keel over from exhaustion before I even get started. Its a very clear, very cold night heer in Bedfordshire and you can recognise a couple of the major constellations.  the universe continues perfectly well without my interference of course 🙂  Everything feels so strange as we come close to the first anniversary of   restrictions brought in for Covid-19 in the UK where at the time of writing we are on our third lockdown which will be in place until at least spring judging by the way things are currently going.  Some days go well enough but today  has been hard for me. I would like to talk to one or two absent friend but they have passed beyond the orbit of this world now. Its hard going.  I dreamt I was playing a gig with the full line-up of the Delta Ladies with Vicky martin at the helm  in some big edwardian pub or other. Its seems like another world now to be honest. So on waking ity was disappointing to know that that’s pretty much all gone now.  Vicky was a pretty much irreplaceable force of nature and whilst I did attempt to carry on it  we could not quite make escape velocity in the end.  Plus lockdown finished everything  pretty much in March of  2020.   2021 has started and I feel exhausted mentally and  I feel I am beyond the point  where I can try and pick up the pieces again to be honest.  I do not expect there to be anyone riding out of the shadows to pick up the baton now. I am not even sure if I can actually cut it live now frankly.  It’s now nearly one year since the last Delta Ladies gig in a small pub in reading called “The Retreat”. Remaining members of the band have also had fairly serious ill health  to contend with too.  Its possible there may be a grand finale at some point. But there needs to be a  new road or else there is no road to travel now.

It’s  a pretty low ebb for me now. I really need be mixing with people but the current situation makes it impossible of course.  My fairly paranoid internal dialogue is increasingly difficult to block as well.  I am creating music and trying to keep going.  One day at a time is as good as it gets though.  From here onward is obscured to me assuming there is a going forward from this point as nothing is guaranteed in this life.

I send out my musical messages in a bottle  into the either and wonder…

So can we ever say more than we did our best?

 

More January 2021 thoughts

Diana Stones Songs, music, Musings, piano works

So due to the various problems that I’m having with my back and joints I am now resorting to dictating more than typing and unfortunately there’s not much I can do about that

It’s been quite disturbing to see there is reports of the police behaving aggressively in relation to their perceived notions of breaches or lockdown especially as it is quite clear that mostly interventions have been wrong and overzealous.
The  notion that it’s unsafe for example to exercise your dogs in an area of open countryside where they may actually not be other people for as much as 300 m or more.We also have government ministers trying to defend the indefensible.

Mostly due to their own incompetence and lack of understanding of the fundamentals of the situation.

Here is a recent solo piano work, which is a jazz/classical crossover. its played on a Yamaha Piano, but just unfortunately not the one shown 🙂 its  a bit moody and maybe a little weird but hey its me so what do you expect. 

I am quite upset set at present and also so trying to avoid falling into a fairly major depressive relapse. The notion of no reasonable social contact for potentially another 9 to 10 months is really  hard to deal with.
Personally I do actually believe that unless it is the degree of reasonableness people will cease to comply with any restrictions. For people like myself the days pretty much merge together and I do try and use this time to do something productive as much as it is possible to do so. Other difficulties which occur are not merely due to isolation but for example in my particular circumstances the only person I see day to day is my partner and I’ve only had face-to-face contact with two or three other people in the course of nearly a year unless you include the occasional encounter with a shop assistant.
Looking at the number of deaths in the UK from covid-19 I can imagine a scenario where it does actually hit 200000 Mark it certainly I think going to be well in excess of 100000 even if there’s a miracle.
So it makes you wonder what’s next martial law perhaps it still won’t make any difference because the Gene is already out of the bottle. I’m not really too sure what what the future is likely to bring at all for me personally. 80s I’m going to have major problems with my mental health soon if I’m not careful as I’m getting near the limit of tolerance on many matters.
Jotting down my random thoughts in this fashion is is quite satisfying as I’m not taking as much as I would be if I was actually typing thank goodness. It has been a hard couple of years though and it really doesn’t look as if it’s going to get any easier.