Reviewing The Situation

Musings

So I have arrived at here, but it’s not the place I expected it to be. That is to say it looks very different on finally arriving than I expected.

So what do I mean by this. Well as to my physical health, I am still here today (that’s about all I can say), but my mental health has been wonky for years. I feel I am drifting as I don’t seen to have too much drive to do stuff at present. Is it ageing. Yes, and no I guess. I have been producing a lot of music and I do get out to play live again a little, but I don’t feel like planning for the next big adventure so much anymore. Hopefully it’s just a passing phase. Autumn always has a whiff of things being over. This Autumn it seems even more intense somehow. I guess that is where my heads at now.

A few friends seem to be having troubles and uncertainty too. Perhaps it’s catching 🙂 I am trying to figure out what to do if my car doesn’t pass its MOT. Is it time to get back to being a one car household? Not sure. It might work? Choices are hard at times. Just been for a dental check up and I am OK at present. I hate going to the dentists. I had a lot of work done as a child including a lot of extractions in one go with gas and its left me feeling anxious at the dentists all these years later.

Time Passing

Musings

I got struck nostalgic again, and it’s difficult not to get sucked into that treacly void of often false comfort that provides so often. Well we got it over the line for one season or so and once we stood on the shoulders of giants 🙂
Nobody wants to leave the party first or last for that matter do they?
A lot of people are leaving the party at present though, Zoot Money and Herbie Flowers to name just a couple of them.

So here we are heading towards proper autumnal weather and it’s a dull old day as I write this. I had a band gig last night in Hitchin on Friday night that was good fun. Go me. This week my sister has been visiting and I have helped her to sort out a few things. So the weeks gone quite swiftly, though it has been a little tiring over all as there has been a lot of talking and I am not used to that so much these days. Maybe because lately I just haven’t had so much to say? We have dramatic and stormy looking skys now and the threat of very heavy rain potentially, so I don’t think I will be going to far. As usual I have also been working on some music too so here’s a new song. A slightly rock pop vibe this time.

Can You Help Me Please.

Are The Wheels Coming Off The Bus As They Go Round

Musings, pictures

Just maybe they are. Start of a migraine this morning. Felt a bit stressed last night. Don’t know why. Anxiety can be managed but it never quite goes away. Everything feels a bit stale suddenly and the seasons change is becoming very visible due to the dry weather. Today I feel old and perhaps now also a little irrelevant. Is there a prescription for that? Apparently not it most cases.

The older I get the more I realise that it’s not about being right or wrong it’s just trying to do no harm. My legacy (if I were to have one ) would I hope be that one or two people liked me and maybe enjoyed my music and didn’t think I was a too much of a c****. If I am singing Bessie Smith’s’ “Me and my gin” people like the racket I make and that weird noise that comes out is me, not me pretending to be somebody or something else…. Much like when I am singing my own songs I guess. I have some rude songs that I have never recorded as well. What am I like 😉

At present I am trying to convince my sister that with regard to her arm injury and the NHS screw up related to it a bad deal may be better than no deal as I think the best she can get is a compromise. Also I think the original consultant may have been over optimistic. Perhaps even to keep her spirits up. I don’t want to stop her trying to get the best fix possible but the effort required for an uncertain outcome may be frankly a waste of time. So that is a bit of a worry.
She is back in court very soon and hopefully to finally sort out a final ruling on inheritance from her partner which has been going on for about 3 years since he died.

Everything is fading. Really it is. I have been working on some new music, but it’s got very hot and I am taking a break. Yesterday it was 20C today its near to 30C. Crazy weather.
Played through some stuff on the piano to loosen up and I am totally knackered.

A few tunes