Category Archives: music

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The stuff of nightmares, some of them. This weeks been the worst. Who can you trust anymore? This week I have had a bit more of a fight that usual with depression again. Its crept up on me. Depression is a sly creature and changes its form in subtle ways so that when you think you have a defense or mitigation strategy it turns into something completely different the moment your drop your guard and suddenly there it is again.

A mixed sort of day. Got the Boiler serviced and it’s fine, and no that’s not a euphemism 🙂

I had a disappointment that is causing me to think I need to look at my present commitments as life is getting very frustrating at present as stuff is just not working out. I may have put too many eggs in one basket on reflection. A lot of things I have put energy into seem to actually be withering on the vine.

Also am quite worried about the possibility of rioting later today, not very far down the road from us. I do hope that it won’t happen but there is a lot of concern in the community and the town. I was in Bedford this morning and it is business as usual at present though. Hopefully it will stay that way.

In other news, potentially another project is likely to go tits up soon it seems. I do hope not though. Hopefully a mitigation has been found.



 Picture jane evans photography

Don’t take It Out On Those That Are Weaker Than You

Seriously, just don’t. People just want to slap other folks down all the time sadly. Blue sky thinking wont fix it.

Some blue sky. And Facebook, I get a lot of friend requests. Many people seem to misidentify me as a member of their tribe. I get requests from xenophobes, racists, right wing extremists and most puzzling of all transphobes? Weird or what. People obviously don’t read what I write I guess? Perhaps it’s just as well or they would be at the door with the pitchforks.
My brain hurts with it all at times to be honest.









It’s a mad, mad world

My brain is a bit fried this week. Here is my latest tune. About the weird world of the interwebs sort of I guess. Meaning might though be in the eye of the beholder to an extent in this case perhaps.

Troll Me Susie

It’s a close sort of day cloudy, but also warm. And I am getting a bit bad tempered. I can’t seem to burn off the energy though I have been busy enough. I might be getting a bit hyper or manic perhaps? I am feeling a bit manic today. Not a good place to be in. These things go in cycles often with no rhyme or reason. A bit like anxiety attacks out of the blue. There is usually a trigger though I can’t seem to find it.

The business of creating music goes on, though it must be said some days are a real slog. An idea seems inspired then turns out to be insipid then often turns in to something else entirely if you are lucky. I often wonder what writers do, staring at a blank page. Perhaps repeated trips to the fridge in the hope of calorific or caffinised enlightenment? I drink tea but so much as I used to do.

Make a will if you and your partner are not married.

A tale of woe and English law


My sister is awaiting the distribution of her late partners estate. So far it has taken close to 3 years. She has been to court twice and the Judge ruled that in terms of his estate she should be treated as a spouse. (they were together in total for 40 years). Her concerns have also unsettled me. It is the case that she has missed various communications from her solicitors or has misunderstood them as they have not been clear or concise. She is finding it difficult to keep on top of things. There is virtually nothing that I can do to help her out. It may still be the case that the amount left in the estate is substantial but the final settlement and the amount has still not being made clear. Personally I do think it unreasonable that solicitors cannot clarify these matters in the simple form so that she might be able to plan going forward. She has multiple serious health issues to contend with. If the worst come to the worst we may have to put her up here but it will cause considerable friction. She would though then be homeless so we might be able to get some traction with local housing authorities though her fear is that they might place her in an OAP home as she now has multiple health problems. With regard to any moneys from the estate the solicitors can deduct any money owing first in law. So she could come out with very little which is perfectly legal in the UK. All this makes me feel rather sad.

I spoke to her today. I told her that she must ring the solicitors and ask directly when they will be paying the money out or if they are not why not They said they had the money from the court last week.I can’t get involved as I am not the client so they have no obligation to speak to me. I am trying very hard not get involved but is stressing me a lot. She has not got enough money to live on now. Her pensions do not cover the trips to hospital and so forth. She is still chasing her money. The court made the award for an interim payment 65 days ago on at the time of writing this.