There is a lot happening for me on a personal level at the moment, and its likely that their will be some fairly major changes in circumstances in the next year or so that will make my life rather different.  I will need to make a few decisions though I think events may well guide me towards the best choice without much need to be steered by anything but the prevailing winds. So much of life is or seems to be arbitrary or random, though us creative types perhaps see patterns where there are none?  I like the idea of order in my universe but the reality is surely that I don’t have that much free will however I might think I am asserting it.  I am still composing my little tunes,  though lately not songs very much. I have never been much of a wordsmith some of the best lyrics have been almost throwaway asides.  Verbally I think I have run out things to say and often anything I do come up with sounds crass. I am a mass of contradictions really and I seem to be able to manage to hold at least 4 conflicting views on things before brunch.  A growing disillusionment and distrust, though not going as far as paranoia seems to be my natural state latterly.  The world is falling apart on the news in Hi def every night.  When I was young I would play a game that I had something like a tardis and could go anywhere taking my hold world with me fully under control and safe. So many of us now in the western world need not venture out of our houses theoretically as the world comes to us, mostly through brightly lit screens which are both comforting and numbing at the same time in equal measure.
Due to a back injury  a couple of years back I have tended to get more and more reclusive and also physically far to inactive which I am starting to address as I had not realized how far things had slipped.  My only real exercise has been playing gigs but over the last month i have got in to a routine which is helping both physically and mentally though I still get a lot of aches and pains and the most useful thing seems to be just to keep moving.  it can be difficult to get motivated. the most frustrating thing is that most of my IT skills are useless as I can’t sit at a keyboard and type for very long with out having problems. If the sun shines tomorrow maybe I will take a walk.