Category Archives: Musings

You Won’t Get a Second Chance

Or will you, maybe in a quantum world you get infinite goes in the multiverse or is it just time for my meds again? Could be I guess. I am aware that as time passes I think much more about the why of existence and the further I feel from it having any meaning I can decipher from it.
Perhaps the point is simply that there is no point? Yes but your mama said it’s rude to point didn’t she? Now if I feel the urge to stare into the abyss I reach for the wine. Best I can do really. That and radio 4 on a quiet day when your intrusive thoughts are just a little too intrusive.
its raining and it’s dull and my creative hat is in the wash at present and I am wearing my slightly anxious one instead. As I write this it’s July 4th and my latest release goes live on spotty Amazon and most other streaming services.

Its called “Is It Falling On You”

https://music.apple.com/us/artist/1564328495

https://open.spotify.com/artist/7m1KORirDEpH1IzIKGdQsa

And other streaming services …

https://music.amazon.co.uk/albums/B0C8M656ZW?marketplaceId=A1F83G8C2ARO7P&musicTerritory=GB&ref=dm_sh_PdvZm4Um6iHLqaMwYznzmG2kE.


Diana Stone Playing My Old Harmony Acoustic
Diana Stone Playing My Old Harmony Acoustic

Its weird, things are OK ish in the main. Musical opportunities’ are increasing but I feel a bit jaded. It’s not logical. A slight air of grumpiness developing today. Not sure why as things are mostly OK at present? Weird how moods just drift in like a sea mist from nowhere? Ok it is a rainy day too, but we need rain so much now.

Am I crazy. possibly by some peoples standards I am. A raddled old hag perhaps with only the ghost of a chance in the frenzied life dance. I have a friend who says the world is going to wrack and ruin but I tend more to think its already got there for some folks in many respects. I am still feeling a bit fragile mentally today to be honest. I roll along feeling ok for a few days then I get hit with a dose of existential dread almost. Weird. Nothing materially changes but the the mood hits out of nowhere. So for me normal. Hoping to will wear off as I am out doing a guest spot at a pub on the eve of writing this. I am slightly dubious about it to be honest and on this occasion would frankly rather not. We have had about 24 hours of rain but it the suns out now finally. I was listening to some of my back catalogue and also that of the Delta Ladies. I was surprised at how “gothic” it sounded and very dark and mournful. I can see why it made an impression. I also listened to a few recordings by other artists from the 60s and 70s and in particular the sound of those albums. Then I came back to listen to some of my own tracks and thought actually not too shabby after all. But I have now formed an idea or two to try something a little different going forward now. I just need the resolve to actually get on and do it. In between the creaking and groaning noises that my body makes like a sailing ship as its timbers swell and then contract again which is now often a part of the soundtrack of my daily life.

Solstice and more thoughts.

So its business as usual here. Writing music or attempting to and practicing and eating and sleeping. That seems to fill the days up pretty much. I recently also submitted to get my amazon artist profile for promotion and stuff. Not sure how long that will take though? Wait and see I suppose. As I write it’s likely to thunder or at least threatening so to do. But a its a bit brooding now. we are having a lot of fairly hot weather again, the kind that slows you down to a crawl.

Here’s is a new one for you all.

What Else Is There.

My latest opus.

I have some rehearsals and a few gigs coming up which will keep me occupied for a while (fingers crossed). Apart from that its mostly business as usual in the main. That’s Ok as I am not a big fan of surprises 🙂 The world continues to turn, at least at the time of writing. A few things do cause me concern but most of them are entirely outside any possible filmiest sphere of influence. So I am left to grumble and mumble into my tea.

There is a small plot between our property and the next one which seems not to belong to anyone, and each year it makes vain attempts to burst forth into bloom but it is far too dry and has not any proper soil. It’s a little dessert, and also rather like a bald head with just a few random tuff’s of hair. In the 5 years we have been here its just never quite made the grade. It pluckily trys though. Is there a point where perseverance is pointless? I believe that there is, though I am not sure the little barren patch has reached it. Hope springs infernal as they say.

I have uploaded a couple of things recently to BBC introducing. Well they have been listened too, but I doubt if it will get any further than that. But I might as well keep trying as not. I don’t think I stand much of a chance and my stuff is different from a lot of what I am hearing. Some folks seem to like it, but I fear it’s not going to get past the local radio gatekeepers. A couple of months ago I entered a songwriting competition. Didn’t get anywhere with that either. I listened to some of the runners up. An interesting spread of stuff, but I didn’t even get listed. However I am still going to keep on as what else is there? I would be good to get a sniff once in a blue moon though. At this point I do begin to feel a bit gloomy about it to be honest. Any normal person would have packed it in by now I guess. Maybe keeping trying is just a form of mental illness at my time of life?

Diana Stone on tour. 
The  Ramparts Angouleme

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ~ Maya Angelou

It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ~ Nelson Mandela

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” ~Buddha

I do find doing rather than thinking tends to help with mood, otherwise if you are anything like me you just tend to go and make a list of everything you are disappointed with or dissatisfied or feel inadequate about and come to the conclusion that you are a massive waste of space. That tends to happen about every 4 days on average with me….
More driving, more playing, more standing up and so forth over a few days does make a difference. I am sure. Certain muscles are getting a lot more use again consistently.

That’s all folks….

Uphill again

So the sun’s out and it’s very warm and all that. Hooray mostly I guess. But, not much face to face contact this week and I feel a bit weird all of a sudden. I have 3 full days at the weekend but typing this I feel odd. A wave of gloom manifests’ out of nowhere.

Not Every thing You See Is Real
If only I could do my make up as well as A.I does.

D Stone

I made this. it was a very quick, off the cuff recording.  Nice comment on the track too
“Your voice and lyrics are so beautiful, it’s like the leaves falling gently on my soul.”  Oh my.
“Is it Falling On You”

It got a few plays which is nice. Its slightly folkier than most of my stuff as a contrast.
Cool. This time of year I tend to be up and about earlier in the day when its cooler.

Local news from this septic isle.
Are kids getting worse, or was it always like this? I suspect actually it always was.

This from a facebook friend who is F/M and disabled and about 68 and lives in Bournemouth:

“So I took a little ride to the shop and parked my mobile scooter outside. When I came back several teenage boys were messing around with it. They actually tore the wire out that goes to the motor and so I had to push the thing almost a mile up hill to get it home. When it first happened the wire was sparking and it started to smoke. I yanked the battery out quick and it stopped smoking. I could smell burnt wires tho. So that’s out of commission. Time to take the wheel off my other scooter and reinflate it. No sense in wanting to kill those boys or give them a good slap. Just keep calm and carry-on.”

That would have totally done my head in to be honest I think. Hopeful all will be well though.

I had a bit of a funny turn and anxiety/panic attack yesterday. Totally out of the blue. I haven’t had one of those for quite a while.

I am having a very slow day today. Deliberately so as I found a specific trigger for my anxiety the other day. A sudden nasty rib pain hit (not had that particular one for months, possibly due to all the special exercise routines actually working ) and because I was already a bit on edge it set the whole show off. I realised that when talking to many people I know they somehow seem to filter out a lot of the news. I seem to get obsessed with stuff. It makes one feel at times that everything is hopeless. I do too much thinking. In my head I have trying to resolve or quantify everything thing. It’s not that my thoughts are irrational, but rather that I do get obsessed by things I cannot control. Maybe the internet makes one mad! I need to talk to people, its in my nature although I am shy/introvert to an extent, that seems to have changed somewhat since VIcky and Ralphs passing. I have had a lot more company and social interaction in the last year or so which is good, but I am not so great with just my own company.

Its is dawning on me I could do solo gigs with a bit of forethought and a loop pedal. I just need a bit more confidence really. maybe that’s the next step if there is one?