Category Archives: Musings

July begins

Musings

So a good start as I recorded a song which seemed to go rather well with people.

Here it is:

The first verse:

A bit of the lyric. The first verse.

“I want to go back to the fields of the past, where you walked in dreams.
Nothing needed to be said, it was all in our heads and we understood.
Will you trust me to do the best for you even though I tell a lie its better that way?
The scent on the fields in the evening is sweet won’t you trust me to show my loving deceits”

My dilemma is should I tell some one the truth and risk losing their friendship but stray sane or keep a friendship but at the risk of cracking up even further and being more isolated. Us human beans cant always handle the truth
Its possible that the truth though might deepen the friendship to everybody’s mutual benefit though?
Or maybe I will just chicken out and write an obscure song about it.

Well after a couple of quite positive days with lots of good stuff going on today was a little bit rotten lots of aches and pains a huge dose of anxiety there is plans not working out at all all I had intended to be going out for a bit of a bike ride…

I think a major cause of the anxiety is the element of going a bit stir crazy I’ve just been in way too much for too long and whilst there are places to go to round here it’s not that much fun on your own. Particularly if you are feeling a bit fragile

So instead of reacting to my present reality little subconscious bits of me are kicking of because of injustices done 50 years ago.

When life makes no sense and the world seems alien

Musings

What times we find ourselves in.  Everything in a state of flux. I am flipping between a state of optimism and deep sadness. Sadness that there is so much anger at the wrong people. Sadness that so many feel threatened by people that are often very fragile and living marginal lives who would not do them any harm.

Optimism because I think that things can change for the better, though I dont know how yet. 

I have to be quite careful what I watch or read as a lot stuff triggers me. To be fair though so does everything.

 

Whats next?

Musings

Whats next indeed? 

Well trying not to think about music I now have the first verse and chorus of a song (Folk/acoustic type thing) that’s popped into my head out of nowhere. Todays back brace session had to be stopped as it felt like something went ping somewhere in my back. Its easing now so I think it was a minor realignment but it was a painful for a moment. I shall be interested to see what happens in July now they have downgraded the alert status to 3. I think this is the onset of the going down to one metre by the sounds of things.

At present I seem to be just gently drifting around the edges of agoraphobia little. Also my appetite is still quite off and if I don’t eat regularly it does affect me as I have a fairly fast metabolic rate.If we go down to one metre and there are places like pubs opening I shall I think take the risk.It seems obvious to me that with all of the huge hints being dropped at present by all and sundry on the government side that’s a lot of stuff will open up in July. If that is the case then I’m going to have to strenuous efforts to connect with people to keep myself sane.
I don’t have too much hope of anything in the way of gigs turning up anytime soon but a bit more contact with her relatively normal human beings might be quite useful my partner is plodding on ok but it is in her nature how to be a socially distanced person and some of the on the spectrum habits she has as mean apart from not being able to go and visit her sister’s face to face which she did not do often very little for her personally has changed.
I know it’s that people on Facebook are getting quite sniffy about some of the folk doing live streams and making quite a few snarky comments often though it is the case  that those making said comments cannot do live streams themselves because they would need some sort of a band to do that thing rather a lot of it does seem like sour grapes.

I listened to the last tune I recorded which when I was doing it I thought was perhaps rather throw away however it actually isn’t in my humble opinion as it’s a song and doesn’t have any instrumental breaks I deliberately took a lot of care on the vocal I used the microphone which I borrowed from Ralph as he has a collection of these that he particularly wanted me to try buy and one or two other bits of tech including a very nice compressor and enhancer which is copied from a design made by Joe Meek the Looney from the 60s I then doubled vocal in the mix and was delighted to find after a couple of days when I listen to it that it actually does does sound very distinctive.