Category Archives: Musings

The weekend

Trying to look busy and vaguely intelligent again.
It’s a Bank Holiday monday. I have nothing left to say.  Yep I think I am getting depressed again. I thought I was going to be able to get away with it, but its got me again. So I know how you feel because there area lot of you out there feeling much the same now. Also we dont know where we are headed really. How much of a risk is it worth taking when we have no way to figure out the odds?  How worried should I be at this stage in my life.  Who knows. I have been working on my violin bowing technique as its a weak point in certain aspects. There are some songs which are gestating in the background as ever. It maybe though that september will not be quite as productive as previous months due to the way I am feeling right now.  At present I mostly experiencing the world creatively through on line interactions as of course are many others. I am beginning to doubt my sanity very slightly now too in some respects. This last week I have had a flaire up of back problems too which has not done my mood much of a favour and added to the general air of doom. So first eat cake, then think on.Its difficult to look forward cheerfully though. We are are still here and that’s grand of course but just sitting on the porch gently rocking looses its appeal after a while. Also I am getting old and I do wonder what I am capable of in future if there is one. I have been fairly morbid recently in terms of my internal monologue. 

Why am I not learning a new skill or improving my French or whatever? The same reason that others are not I guess. 

The last song this month is Golden Ticket

I finished a song a day or so ago. I slightly messed up the final transfer of the mix so I had to redo it. Its  fairly conventional sounding tune for a change. Straightforward one might say in many ways.  As I type this we have gone from a heatwave to conditions more like the beginning of November in the space of a week or so. So I am sulking as I cant go out to play mostly due to the dread C19 virus messing things up bigtime. I dont expect much sympathy as you lot can’t really keep calm and carry on either can you? 

So here is the song first in case you dont want to read all the whinging first.

I am glad we got that bit over first. So back to the whinging then.  Some people are relentlessly upbeat all the time.How do they do it and what are they on?  The walls continue to close in on me I am afraid. I have been trying to open the doors but the wind is blowing them firmly shut again. The damp is making my bones complain again.

I cannot say I have ever felt as isolated and out of touch at anytime in my life so far as I have during the weeks since March 23rd this year when lockdown restrictions were formally introduced in the United Kingdom. Everything is strange and surreal. Even the most mundane activities as we go to the shop masked like cowboys with bandanas as we buy a hand of bananas. The novelty has worn off now though.
Will we ever get back to normal? I am not convinced its going to happen anytime soon. One year, two years, longer perhaps. It’s hard to imagine really. So far we have had restrictions for 159 days.  And we are still here.

if only I still had something to say.

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“He that can have patience can have what he will.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“Why is patience so important?”
“Because it makes us pay attention.”
― Paulo Coelho