Currently this month the muse seems to have left me I fear. I am doing far too much staring into space. But we must keep boldly going of course.
Funny sort of a day so far. Worked on some music and got the AI to write me some more lyrics for a tune. I fed it a line and said this line must be included The results are actually not bad at all. I have lost a bit of spirit right now. My umph is depleted. I also had to remove a flush ceiling light, as you have to replace the unit as the bulb is not separate. I ordered a new one. It involves a bit of pulling and tugging to get the old one out though. I was in mortal terror of bringing the plasterboard down around me. However I persevered. And today I fitted a new one which involved a bit of unexpected wiring too. I could have done without that really.
So here are and stuff is going pear shaped. I got triggered by something that happened yesterday and I can’t seem to calm down at all. So in an effort to shift my mood I am writing self indulgent dribble as a distraction. I hope it’s going to work eventually. Its cold and wet and it has been snowing too.
I need to get a grip. Its strange when one has the time and facilities to be creative, often the urge just goes away. Maybe it’s just good old end of winter malaise?
I am not the most practical of people.
Band rehearsals carry on apace and seem to be going fairly well over all.
I have also got a new release on Amazon and Spotify, Apple music and the usual suspects on the 20/03/23 called “What’s the weather”.
This is the title track:
So often it seems we feel we have finally got on top of things and are moving forward again in life generally but we get blown off course. Sometimes the headwind is just to strong but sometimes we need to try and push on. Often though the best course is not at all clear to us. As I come to the part of my life where there are inevitably more endings than beginnings finding out what’s worth pursuing is becoming a little more difficult. after a few positive months I feel a little despondent having run into a few roadblocks. Also I have found recent setbacks much more difficult to deal with too. A now sadly departed friends notion was to basically lean back and chill. I understood perfectly well why they took that course of action but I hope I am not quite at that point yet. My back and related problems are flaring up at present and I may need to be a little less ambitious with my live performances in terms of numbers than I had hoped to achieve. It is difficult at times like this to strike a balance between activity and rest as too much of either makes things worse, but its hard to judge how much is too much though. I do my morning exercises regularly though and would be worse off without them
My partner is a little older than me but considers me as young. There is actually only 4 years between us though. At present I feel wrecked. Often standard painkillers don’t help much. I am concerned that if I take stronger meds I may not then be able to function without them. There is no doubt in my mind that having covid may well have caused me to age a little quicker.
I recently got my pension and so don’t now need to make money from gigs anymore. That should have been a relief but other problems have taken the problem of financial ones it seems. I guess its a loss of faith in a better day to come? Maybe spring will sort it out….
Well back to the music then. Mind how you go.