Well its groundhog day

November 9, 2026Musingsdiana Stone

Oh dear, oh dear never mind. I am still waiting for news and there is still none.
What to do. Well just waiting is really about all there is to do. The ward is not quiet at night and sleep was difficult. So each day is a new challenge to a degree. And no end date sight either.
A general air of gloom could easily pervade everything.

Diana Stones Glasscage · All Human LIfe Is There

Well now I am back with common people. But I am free to roam as I have no infection and so I can use the loo or go to the shop in theory now. Hurrah. Perhaps I will go exploring tomorrow?
It’s a thought at least. I am fed up and grumpy certainly of course though but I have a strange resignation towards it and a detachment with almost an air of depersonalization.
Home seems like a distant vision of an unearthly nirvana now. I know it exists but its quite unattainable at present now without a further trial by ordeal first and even that I must wait to be called to the challenge.

Hospital routine is relentless in its regular but slow rhythm. Injections and tablets and being stuck. Its hellish.

Its difficult to cope

November 7, 2026Musingsdiana Stone

If only I could hit the the road again.

Diana Stones Glasscage · So Convincing In A Cheap Suit

In what world of absolute fuckerry is required to wake people at 05:00 to weight them. Seriously. BP and stats make sense but don’t really require you to move or wake up. So instead of having a perfectly good sleep I am now wide awake. Its not like I am going to be anywhere else in 2 hours time..I am struggling again. My reserves are depleted now. Scared, not entirely rational and feeling very alone. I am about to start week 8 in hospital and cannot imagine ever going home again. I am past tears, a bit past hope. It’s just day to day survival now. People come and go but I remain feeling like I am in a warehouse waiting to be shipped having no idea where or when. Well another Saturday night in my room.

The odd distant rumble and crack of fireworks mostly unseen as we face south so away from Bedford. I do like to see fireworks but appreciate that animals are often very distressed by them. They are then best at an organised display and do not need to be loud. So sad to hear the news from Krakow tonight too of course.The world seems very disturbed right now

Away but only in my dreams to be honest. I am still waiting to see when i get a date for Papworth. Don’t think I will hear this weekend somehow. Patience is required right now.
I nearly upset a friend by answering a question too honestly.who we are and are driven by very different needs and upbringing of course. As a child I was not particularly sociable but usually had on friend. At infants school I had a friend called Belinda who was often my companion for games of imagination for quite a while. I did stay close to my mother whilst at home and once I learnt to read did become somewhat bookish.

And so it goes.

November 5, 2026Musingsdiana Stone

Time passes and I wait. Yep. I am totally wrecked again psychologicaly. So I just have to stop thinking about stuff 🙃 Lots of octogenarians go home after procedures here. Plus already met 2 90 year olds one perfectly ok with diabetites had a new pacemaker. Then there is me. Waiting and stiil scared. Very scared. I cannot say much more than that as all my cleverest words desert me now.

No clever words.

So near and so far from home from home. Just a mile and a bit from my home, I haven’t been back there for 6 weeks or so now. That feels strange I have to say. A better day today at least. Slept Ok last night and ate well to. First time in weeks. Still on the antibiotics though till the end of this week. Then maybe next week the big push. Still a scary thought. The only way home requires a further journey both literally and figuratively and that is daunting. Still meanwhile a rest first is allowed.I type social media stuff and write my blog and watch vintage films on tv and the day passes quickly. Hospital routine steadily chugs along with some familiar faces and some not so much. The drips, injections,blood tests every day. The regular stats BP and so forth unchanging.Here I have developed a taste for coffee as tea no longer suits me. Strange but true. Perhaps one day my tastes will change back. I watch in great surprise the outcome of the Us on mid terms.Trump despite the losses seems affable like the TV presenter he once was and when finally asked questions is polite and relaxed. The world seems strangely transformed since I entered my place of solitude though isolated I have many visitors but they leave and I am envious of their freedom to do so..