Mad May, Merry May

May 7, 2026Musingsdiana Stone

Mad May I suspect. 3 years now on state pension. That’s gone very quickly. The time not the pension I hasten to add which is still extant. I do keep a diary of sorts of what I am doing each day. I find it helps a little with keeping things together mentally at times.

Re my musical dilemma and quandary.

I note that several people of my acquaintance either cant get gigs or find people willing to work with them. They range from ex pro players to very good semi-pro players. The primary factor seems to be distance and age. The people you need are just too far away. There is a surprisingly small pool of players of the right demographic that are visible and I seem to know very many of them. Most of those that have a regular thing going on are people that are local to each other. And at present my mojo just seems to have up and gone. So I guess short of divine intervention its just not happening. Age is really the issue when you drill down. Ironically If I were to move to Colne/Nelson /Burnley, those places are full of exe London hippy types many of whom play music that I would like. A lot are in a similar situation to me, roof over the head and enough to get by but not 4 holidays a year and fancy cars. So actually more my type than the folk around these parts. I do feel Ok when I am sufficiently occupied to be honest, but my problem is still about being awkward in social situations where its unstructured. I think that’s hard wired into my personality now and rather like you if I have a role to play or a reason to be there I am fine, Just going somewhere to hang out with folks I don’t know is not so easy although when I do go somewhere different on the rare occasion’s I do often end up chatting to people and seemingly they like my company. All very familiar I am sure. This week is hopefully two rehearsals, Jon’s folkies on Wednesday and The Sonic Boomers on Friday then a folk gig in Chesham on Sunday afternoon for charity with tea and cakes as a reward. That’s an Ok week. With a bit of recording/production as well.

I just put together another proper ‘Album’. Marching in Lines from tracks from the last 6 months. and nearly all songs with only a couple of instrumentals. Hopefully that will be available from end of May at all the usual places, Spotify, YouTube Amazon and so forth. Keeps me off the streets. Its also a handy way to register the songs too.

Diana Stones Glasscage · Have We Been Here Before

I have a bit of FOMO at present. A lot of people seem to be doing the good stuff whilst I am not seemly getting it together at all.
Social media envy I guess. But I am also lacking energy at present. I don’t know how to get around that right now. Also I don’t have anybody now to go and do stuff with anymore. So there we are.

Its that time of the end of the month

May 1, 2026Musingsdiana Stone

Well I am stil wandering in the wilderness figuratively speaking and possibly on the road to nowhere even though my GPS hints otherwise at times.

An observation:

I keep track of my moods and what not. I am beginning to think there is almost no corelation with events in my personal life. This week everything I was expecting to do has basically been cancelled pretty much so a tad disappointing but I am in a reasonable state of mind and plodding on with my usual stuff. This year seems to be perhaps one where my personal fields must lay fallow maybe? At present everything I have tried to pursue in terms of music collaborations seem to pretty much going nowhere apart from that which I do myself without others. I note many others seem to be saying the same thing, and in particular folks of my age. Often due to them not having the energy or fitness and health issues. I am starting to try and curate some of my own songs for eventual performance live. I have a very large back catalogue but most of it is not written down and lives in the recordings. That will take a while so its a background slow and steady task. Maybe next year will be better if I am spared, but I am not going to fight it. The winds just not blowing my way at present.

Another thought that has struck me is simply this. What if I don’t shuffle off this mortal coil for a few years. I didn’t have a plan for that? What I need to do is go back to focusing on what I create and if others want to get involved great. That is not to say I will turn down any sensible gig offers of course. I think maybe coming to a sort of acceptance may be helping me cope with stuff a little better now. It just feels as if the stars are not aligned or something similar. Its not logical but feelings and instincts should not be ignored to much from my live experience to date. I have just been using the NHS in depth mental health assessment tool. Took ages to find it. According to it I do not have depression but I have PTSD and anxiety related to it. It suggests I should get help. I think that makes much more sense.

Diana Stones Glasscage · Make Free With Me

That PTSD thing, I think I am on to something there with regard to recent anxiety this year and that weird sense of doom. I have been trying to hang on to former status/reputation and guess what. You cant bank status or reputation and keep it to spend later or earn interest on it. That was what was, and with it a big chunk of my life just stopped. Nobody else is going to understand that really. Sorry for your loss and all that… My confidence just kept going down hill since then. Its hit rock bottom now so hopefully it can start to improve again. I think I have actually sort of come to a halt. Weirdly out of the blue an extra couple of gigs for later in the year have popped up like mushrooms. Maybe though this is the bottom of the valley and I get to go climb back up the mountain but its a a different one this time.

Status Report

April 26, 2026Musingsdiana Stone

Well here we all are again. Our Covers band Sonic Boomers gig next week has just been cancelled by the venue. Back in the day it used to happen a bit but when you have lots of gigs its not so bad but we just don’t have any gigs. Rather bad form to do it at such short notice. Unfortunately Sonic Boomers just cant get arrested gig wise now…. Somewhat depressing but not that unexpected. Pubs that don’t do regular live music will often pull a stunt like this though . And the regular music pubs want something a little less bland. The band is good but doesn’t do originals so there is nothing to make it stand out sufficiently for bookers in my opinion from lived experience gigging to give us enough of an edge at those.

A long and perhaps self-indulgent (but I don’t care ) instrumental in 70’s style Prog Rock kind of vibe and why not.

Remember That Time When We Were Cosmic

Diana Stones Glasscage · Remember that time when you were cosmic

Its a bit moody and perhaps even has a vague hint of Pink Floyd around the Atom Heart Mother period. Yes its derivative, maybe its a pastiche but that’s Ok. It would be great to work with people that are into this sort of music but I haven’t managed to connect with any so far in my neck of the woods (Bedford), so as ever this is just me doing all the bits. I have been playing Keyboards/Piano and Guitar plus Violin, (though there is not any violin on this track) for about 55 years now. I had a 20 year window working as a proper musician gigging regularly. Now I am am still playing live when I can with various collaborators’ but the one thing that has eluded me finding people to work with on my own stuff frustratingly. I have tried going out live solo but I really like the interaction with other players in live performance and I miss that a lot. I am getting some of my songs transcribed (with a phone app)to get the lyrics/changes down on paper for potential live performances though. They will need a bit of tweaking though. Never say never and all that. Its a start though I guess. I have about 30 years worth of material that maybe I could build a set out of to re-introduce myself maybe?

Some thoughts on time passing.

There seems to be much more thinking than doing in my life this year. I am a bit concerned it might be becoming a pattern though. Keeping physically active seems to be more of a challenge too as I have not been very motivated either. Its nice the spring has started and that is a help certainly. But mood wise its a struggle though. I do start the day with good intentions though, but somehow it just goes wrong along the line. I do have a routine of working on music in various forms so that keeps me from completely grinding to a halt at least. I cant say the negative news helps much either as there is a back ground hum and crackle and hiss of doom and destruction from every direction. Trumps just been shot at again so I guess he must be a bit of an unpopular fellow. Is this the 3rd or 4th time now? I have lost count. He seems fairly unphased by it all I must say. I suppose it goes with job. Perhaps god really is on his side and working in mysterious ways? This week my diary has emptied out completely which has floored me a bit. I should use the time sensibly but I suspect I wont. I did find a couple of tunes scribbled on manuscript paper from 1998. On of which might interesting to develop and a version of an old song on paper from about the same time that is also due a reworking on a recording I think. So people to do and things to see and all that perchance.