Well I am still beavering away the music, I have a couple of things sketched out that may turn in to something worthwhile if I am lucky. I don’t seem to have too much of a burning desire to create the way I used to? Maybe routine has got to me. Since the last trip away I seem to have hit a dip that I can’t climb out of.
Maybe its just the fact that the sunshine is fading away as the seasons change or maybe its just because I feel more and more that I do not belong . I have felt a sort of alienation for a couple of years now and the feeling is getting stronger all the time. It feels like depression but more like an all encompassing numbness where nothing seems to matter any more and any effort to do something is futile. I seem to have developed a recent addiction to late night television as a mild sedative which it seems to work very well as. I had a big list of stuff that I was going to do including a video blog which never got started. Maybe I don’t have anything left to say worthwhile now though perhaps I never did.