A new song from me:
It’s not as grim as you think, or is it. I just went for a brief walk and its grim out there. Brighter later maybe?
And There’s More Unsurprisingly
A new tune, using an electric 12 string and a modal riff. No violin on this one.
Third World Intervention
Well, there it is. Anger builds up and resentment. If you lost the battles in your childhood you will possibly end up one of two ways. Completely broken or on a hair trigger. So today I am jumpy, jumpy and did I say I was jumpy. Yes a lot of that goes on for me at times.
I enjoyed our Sonic Boomers slightly chaotic gig at the beer festival and sat down to talk for about half an hour with Brian the guitarist. We just can’t do what we used to do. On Sunday I recorded and mixed a new tune that I came up with in the morning. Including all the overdubs an stuff. So I can still do music, but I feel old with the arthritis and all that. I do enjoy myself but though I am but a poor deluded but hope mostly kind trans person raging against the dying of the light. But also with getting older comes the understanding that the world and people cannot be fixed. Wars rage everywhere in the world. Mostly due to fear of the other and the rich still profit like Daddy Warbucks in little orphan Annie. Makes me wish I had some faith, miracles surround us but humans create an endless trail of destruction. My depression seems quite logical and reasonable at times. I watched the news last night of course and I as ever nothing makes sense does it?
October’s Musings In The Rain Kingdom
Golden October? Pumpkin seeds🎃 Lots of those in a pumpkin when you slice them up. The second experiment with the slow cooker today which will be pumpkin stew if the gods allow it.
It’s still mighty wet out though. I guess harvesting will be difficult? Not that I know about such matters of course.
This rains been going on for a week solidly now and it’s definitely not normal in my personal experience. Maybe this is a real manifestation of climate change. Its very different to the last few years at this point in the season. As usual I am trying to do stuff in the studio and I have started with a slightly unusual drum pattern for me which I have an idea about. Will it work? Stay tuned or not I guess, (more bad puns coming up). I will be teaming it up with a modal flavoured electric 12 string guitar part. I know I will regret it as it always takes me about half an hour to tune it. And also to find a suitable tone that’s interesting but not too distracting. The struggle is real 😉
Update. It took me 20 minute the get the thing sufficiently in tune, but it’s sounding Ok now.
The tracks maybe not going to work that well. I have put some string lines on it from the Korg but I am not sure if I like it or hate yet it so I will stop now as I am getting kind of irritable.
I think a lot of my issues are routed in the fact that I stil have an ongoing struggle with depression and anxiety that makes a thing more difficult than they might otherwise be. This as I am sure you can understand also has left me with a tendency to not entirely trust others motivations and a fear of being manipulated/used which has happened in the past due to a combination of naivete and also sheer desperation at times. The few odd extra musical job opportunities’ have dried up completely this year, which hasn’t helped much either and the arthritis can only be managed to a certain degree. I get frustrated with myself that I am not able to engage more with people generally in social environments which I do find difficult on my own anyway. I have tried to live a simple life but its always got very complicated due to the fact that I have never been very good at walking away and perhaps too often guilty of flogging a dead horse. So music has a lot of extra baggage attached to it for me. I have usually gone the extra mile for people to try and make things work. I have sort of lost faith in it all really I suppose.
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