Got to on keep trying. Apparently. Even when you are running out of steam. And I am a wee bit I must confess. Today I assembled an exercise bike and it was quite a workout to be honest. Outdoor exercises at this season plays havoc with my arthritis, so it a useful winter compromise. Keeping fit when you don’t regularly gig is I find a problem. So I am slowly trying to build up a little bit of stamina again if I can. Also activity can help alleviate or mitigate depression too which is also a very important for me as well. So in-between practicing and recording and mixing there is now exercise to work in as well. It’s worth a try at least.

The worlds in a pretty bad state now and there’s little that an individual can do really. Public out cry about injustice may well make us feel we are doing something, but it seems that we have less and less power to achieve any sort of leverage and change the mindset of those that rule over us. Power is a drug and those that don’t have it are doomed to waste away. There is no sense left in the whole wide world now.

Here’s a world/jazz genre instrumental. It’s called “Intrusive thoughts”

Facebook: Yes it’s useful and mostly benign except for one thing. The endless rubbish that comes through on messenger from spammers and scammers and phishers. I get it in industrial quantities at times. the messages start like this “Hi” or “How are you”.
Nobody tells you why they are getting in contact for example. It’s almost never anything genuine. Ok its a nuisance but it stil annoys me. Ho hum. Also it is always worth remembering that pretty things may be toxic and dangerous. So don’t always believe what you see.

• 
  Well its groundhog day
  Oh dear, oh dear never mind. I am still waiting for news and there is still none.What to do. Well just waiting is really about all there is to do. The ward is not quiet at night and sleep was difficult. So each day is a new challenge to a degree. And no end date sight either.A general air of gloom could easily pervade everything. Diana Stones Glasscage · All Human LIfe Is There Well now I am back with common people. But I am free to roam as I have … Continue reading Well its groundhog day →
• Its difficult to cope
  If only I could hit the the road again. Diana Stones Glasscage · So Convincing In A Cheap Suit In what world of absolute fuckerry is required to wake people at 05:00 to weight them. Seriously. BP and stats make sense but don’t really require you to move or wake up. So instead of having a perfectly good sleep I am now wide awake. Its not like I am going to be anywhere else in 2 hours time..I am struggling again. My reserves are depleted now. Scared, not entirely rational and … Continue reading Its difficult to cope →
• And so it goes.
  Time passes and I wait. Yep. I am totally wrecked again psychologicaly. So I just have to stop thinking about stuff 🙃 Lots of octogenarians go home after procedures here. Plus already met 2 90 year olds one perfectly ok with diabetites had a new pacemaker. Then there is me. Waiting and stiil scared. Very scared. I cannot say much more than that as all my cleverest words desert me now. No clever words. So near and so far from home from home. Just a mile and a bit from my … Continue reading And so it goes. →
• 42 Days In Hospital
  Well, here i am watching the world go by from my window looking south across Bedford. A little bit of a hint of late autumn sunshine. So many pills, some good.news and some bad in equal measure, but ultimately moving slowly forward towards hopefully a better place. Keeping it together is though not so easy. No pretty pictures from.her .Todays breakfast starts with this little lot. My little plastic pot of delights 6 pills.Then after lunch a similar offering.This is indeed a garden of earthly delights. Bonus, only one stabbing for … Continue reading 42 Days In Hospital →
• I rang the Samaritans
  Sunday night I ran the Samaritans. It was a great help fortunately. As I hit a massive low sadly. I just despair of ever getting home right now to be honest. its week six. That is a very long time. I ran out of spoons. Finally. Its Monday start of week 6 in hospital. And it got worse.I had a Cystoscopy which was agony. but then it turns out I might have cancer,Fuck… Its raining right now for sure. Thats a real kick in the head.What can I say. I feel … Continue reading I rang the Samaritans →