On Sunday at the Milton Earnest open mic I spoke to people I didn’t know and really enjoyed it.
I am somewhat socially awkward it must be said but I managed. And I played a tune or two.
So now my old car is working and is sound enough for local activities at least I have the freedom to do that. It may not get me what I want but it may help keep me sane. . I have gigs but only a handful. I do need to do more. So getting out locally will be a priority to try and meet people.

So I ask this question. In reality do people ‘See’ transgender/Ts people day to day or is their perception based on drag queens, pensioner trannies on a jolly at the seaside or purple haired non-binary people with multiple piercings and nose rings and so forth…

Re the Supreme Court Ruling: I suspect that as it will take a very long time to sort out proper proportionate legislate guidelines and advice and as several MPs have already taken a view on it, it may get pushed back as other matters will be deemed to be far more pressing and this may well be an advantage in maintaining the status quo to an extent in perhaps the same way that you generally don’t get a fine on a motorway at less than 82 mph even if caught on camera. A couple of friends have fallen of my FB list since I posted pro-trans stuff. I expect I will lose a few more.

I hate the fact on some levels there is still ‘Passing privilege’ but scaring the horses and upsetting the good citizens unduly I admit doesn’t work in helping to promote inclusion. If protest really did work all that bombing Palestinians in their homes and hospitals would have stopped by now.

Here is a new tune:

Aches and pains again. Yep, it would be easy to give in and just fill up with analgesics at times. I spoke to my sister and she is not feeling too good at all. I suspect she will have retired to bed for a day or too most lightly. She did mention looking at houses in Colne where she lived for many years again which to me seems logical. Her inheritance legal tangles rumble on still though. She could get one and have a few bob spare for stuff though rather than wait for a final resolution I feel.

I think she is too far gone to deal with stuff now. She has always had problems with undiagnosed/untreated depression. That’s why I feel she stayed in an oppressive relationship for so many years. I am lucky, people still find me useful (my friendships are based around music really) otherwise I would be very much on my own in the world apart from Alison.
She may well bounce back though as she often does. She was supposed to be visiting but seems to not be in the mood for that at present. I have just brought a new phone.I Will pick it up today or tomorrow. The same model we got to replace Alison’s 10 year old one. My one is about 7 years vintage now and still does all I need, but as I use banking apps and a lot of stuff like that if I wait until I need to upgrade the price might well be much higher due to US Trump based disruption even though its Korean made. it’s a tool I use for so much stuff now. A day or two if my PC went down would be manageable but the phone not so much. Also as a bonus its got a better camera and I do like taking pictures and doing little music videos (not just of myself darlings 😂). Yesterday it was nice to just cruise out in the car, stop and have a walk. Last time I walked further down that path was with Ralph. Vicky died 6 years ago around midnight today. Might be why I feel a bit sad. It feels along time now and I am glad I have managed to get back on my bike metaphorically speaking and do stuff again. I have been fortunate to meet a few good people too of course. Just wish I could that energy back that I used to have then.

I did a bit of piano sight reading practice and it was pretty good. It’s definitely gone up a notch. weird as I don’t really exactly study much. Osmosis perhaps? Or simply stuff sinking in finally that I didn’t realise I had absorbed. It’s nice out weatherwise right now. I am though not at my best today it must be said. It was a nice surprise to find a bit of Delta Ladies at the 100 Club video in my archives serendipitously upon this day in particular as I don’t think I ever posted it before. I will try and make sure I am out briefly in the sunshine today too. I have a little piano tune I scribbled down the other day that I may work on a bit perchance, might be an instrumental or a song. I am not sure yet.

Its sunny and its not unpleasant. A few minor domestic ructions but hopefully nothing too bothersome. On a musical note, my singing voice has definitely changed over the last few months. My breathing is a lot better,(its affected by the arthritis in my chest and upper back) so although it will never be ‘beautiful’ I think it kind of works with my songs. Cool My exercise routine has had some tangible results in terms of pain reduction and some improvement in posture but I never considered that it might help me vocally. So a useful by-product. As you can imagine taking deep breaths and getting pains in your chest at times is a tad of putting so being able to improve that is a real boon though I was really just working on pain reduction. The song I just did is in a higher range, more like my voice was 30 years ago. I only really noticed it when I was mixing the track.

I am still logging my moods on my mood app. No real pattern is emerging other than that bad sleep and anxiety will trigger irritability. That’s not exactly news though. I guess I was looking for a quick fix as ever. So far though one has not manifested. What do you do when somebody’s spirit has just faded away? When they have decided to retreat into a very small and limited world. That kind of person is very difficult to live with at times however much you may love them. Somebody that has never really wanted to be challenged in the way they think. I can’t avoid be challenged and exposed to ideas, good or bad, real or fake.I have no urge to be any sort of academic, simply to know a little more about how the world turns. I am not a classic nerd by any means. Today as I write I am not so happy. Why, who knows. I don’t believe in pie in the sky, but I do find some comfort in religion/spirituality for example in the ‘design for life’ sense. Chaos is harder for me to take these days so I look for patterns.

I am stunned by the number of Americans that actually believe they have some innate form of superiority and truly have money as a god….