Category Archives: history

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Just me

Things are not quite going the way I expected on the whole.It’s coming up to 2 year’s  since I left the Civil Service and nothing has gone as I planed. I have learned a lot and mostly I feel less stressed and apart from a few minor lows I have not had any re-occurrence of serious depression but the plans I hoped to put in to action to support myself have flopped quite badly.

I have achieved quite a few things that I am proud of including:

  • National Radio play for one of my Glass Cage songs
  • Local radio play for Elephant Shelf
  • Performing in a fringe festival
  • Performing regularly as an accompanist in a west end venue
  • Singing lead vocals live with a band regularly
  • Telling  jokes as part of the duo act
  • Recording and mastering a CD for Elephant Shelf  and getting 1100 pressed
  • Playing at some very well known and respected venues
  • Joining PRS

I could go on, its been quite a learning curve so on a personal level it’s been good and worth doing but financially its not going well.
I had hoped to do some IT freelancing but on the last project I got unwell and had to stop though ironically I seem to be functioning better than ever now. But I fall apart under any sort of pressure. There has to be something that I can do to make up the short fall financially without cracking up again.

Birthday blues

Date Posted: 15th January 2008

Current mood: quixotic

January and my Birthday approaches. I shall be making efforts to ignore it as much as possible in the vain hope that it will go away, as time seems to be passing very quickly now. I am still up to the usual rubbish. Its a great relief that Alison is eating again and is getting back to a more normal weight though she is still a bit wobbly on her legs, but that’s likely to be the effect of the medication rather than anything else.

A few Elephant Shelf gigs and some very enthusiastic receptions too.We are now working on our recordings again. Its a little tiring trying to fit it all in but we are getting there I think and we should be able to start selling Cd’s at gigs again at some point in the future. The Shelf is having its 300th gig party at the Salisbury pub on Saturday.We have got guest acts and your all invited. Except You because you have been very naughty

It amazes me that the band has lasted that long… Still the band that arm wrestles together stays together as they say.

Leaving the Comfort Zone >>

Date Posted: April 2 2008

I did my last day at the office on Friday and had the obligatory leaving drink and presentation which was embarassing but I was also quite touched as I had not really expected it.A lot of folks turned up and I do feel a tinge of regret as I was there along time and if I had no ambition to do anything else maybe I could have kept on, but I think I would have been barking mad before very much longer. Also I had got used to a fairly maverick way of doing things and me and the corporate culture have got very far apart now. In a sense it allows me to complete the re-invention of self thats been coming for a long time.. Everyone was very nice but many were shocked as I had been working there 13 years and they had assumed that I would be there until I retired I suspect. I told them what I was expecting to do in future and everyone was very positive.

Most people were aware of my TG Status by the time I left and I was told that if I had wished to transition at work I would have been fully supported but the brain cells were already well fried by that point and tempting as that might sound the job was just getting too much for me in the end. I was so stressed that I was forgetting how to do things which was quite scary. I am sort of in freefall at the moment and I will be trying to make a living from the music side of things for the next year, but if it doesn’t work out then I will be back in IT in some respect or maybe just filling shelves between gigs. I have a portfolio of other practical skills that should get me through one way or the other.

I now feel a lot more relaxed and I am going to take a calculated risk on a new career (though its not really a new career as its something I have been involved with for a long time) and also will take some time to study and improve my skills a bit. I am giving myself about a year to see if I can support myself as a musician. I don’t know how realistic that is but I am going to give it a try.I dont need a huge income just enough to pay the bills and I Hope that is realistic…

Anyone remember this tune:
Its a great tune

Nicked from Wikipedia

“Cast Your Fate to the Wind” written by Vince Guaraldi, was a track on Guaraldiân album featuring his versions of music from the film Black Orpheus

It’s me blogg in it alright gorblimey apples and pears strike a light thank you god bless you governor

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