Still I suppose its something to write songs about.

Even now 45 years after leaving school the memories of bullying still haunt my dreams. I used to have a re-occurring dream where I would be chased or hunted and often it would end in my demise. Fortunately that particular variation on a theme has faded a little. The thing is that you can never leave it behind and it will no doubt still be messing with my head until I shuffle off this mortal coil. When I was a child there was one person who had the patience to deal with me and actually help me considerably. I was and still am Dyslexic, but this was not recognised in the early 60’s and I was very patiently given one to one sessions which finally allowed me to be able to read. I still have considerable difficulty’s spelling to this day, but modern technology fortunately can deal with the bulk of it.

I had similar problems with maths and in my first couple of years at the local comprehensive my maths teacher took great delight in making me look a fool in front of the class. I was also at the time having regular visits to hospital to visit a psychiatrist at a now long gone children’s hospital. I had been attending from around the age of 8 I think. I had lunchtime appointments but was not always able to get back quite on time for the maths class. Although the teacher had a note in the register that I was attending hospital she would always ask pointedly where I had been. I would explain that I had been for a hospital appointment and she would then ask me why. Quite what particular buzz she got from watching a 12 year old explain that it was an appointment to see a psychiatrist I don’t know.

As you can imagine my first name soon became “Mental” which might work if your an aspiring Hell’s Angel but does not really help an unpopular shy and very nervous kid. That was the easy bit but it got much worse by the time I got excluded at 15. Rather than writing this at the moment I should be getting on with my next project which I have sketched out a brief musical outline for, but I seem to be finding jolly good reasons not to get started. I have always got bored quickly, often so that my concentration goes just about at the point where I should be putting the final polish on something. I remember my school reports saying something a long the lines of could do better or tends to daydream or is easily distracted and yes that seems to still be the case. I don’t think fundamentally our persona changes that much really. Sometimes when things come too easily to us to start with we give up when challenged I suppose.

I did have copies of my school reports lurking somewhere but I can’t find them now frustratingly as I think that they might be interesting to revisit.