A wobbly start to the month. The overwhelming urge to hibernate is getting really strong at present. A few minor tech problems hit my music making, but I think I have got it licked now. Well almost so we will see. Cubase has decided to crash randomly and I think it is a driver error but who knows. That is why I tend to stick with hardware based recording systems most of the time now.

Well, was trying to gird up my folky loins for this evening with the Invisible-folk-club-band. Sadly the weather beat me into submission, due to storms and flash flooding everywhere so I decided to not be be stupid and turn back. Can’t win em all but it’s going to be raining on and off all night and I really don’t want to get stuck out anywhere in the middle of nowhere on my own. Hopefully the Christmas tree fest in Olney tomorrow will go a little better (it did though even that was problematical). I hate to miss a gig but that’s life I guess. I have only missed about 5 over 20 years plus or so I guess its Ok. “You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em Know when to walk away and know when to run”…I do feel a bit less invulnerable recently, its age I guess.

I have been thinking I must transcribe a few of my less obscure songs and do few at the odd open mike next year maybe? I have a lot of stuff which I work on and record and then promptly forget. So thats my next trick I guess. Something to work on during Gloommass and the new year. Interesting that in rehearsals I was making the odd daft joke and I thought to myself if I get some material together maybe the occasional solo gig might be possible. I have done them before and they were far better received than they should have been frankly. That would be a tangible thing to aim for I think that might fill in the gaps. I can find my most played songs on the streaming services and transcribe those and that should give me a reasonable set list perhaps.

There is still a lot of bad news out there and right now I can’t deal with it.

Quite funny hearing Nigel Farage’s school days being reminisced about by 18 people that attest he was a bit of cunt then, though I first heard about this many years ago. The stories are consistent over the years which suggest they are likely to be true. The odd things is what they are describing is so similar to the kid that eventually went full national front and shot my house up and so forth with his mates. They must have been separated at birth I reckon. At that time people were buying the Little Red Book but a few were buying Mien Kampf too including the protagonist of my woes. Eerily similar in that apparently my nemesis went on to be an accountant though that’s not far from being a banker. People do walk similar paths in life but you do wonder why they chose particular ones.

Into every life a little rain must fall. The above is looking to be my least popular tune ever. Is it a sign…

“We are freezing known Russian assets, but let me be clear, I don’t actually mean the honourable member for Clacton”

Rachel Reeves

I know it was a daft joke, but there is an element perhaps now of “We see you Nigel” creeping in. I am very pleased that the child benefit cap has been lifted. A few good things in the budget overall I thought. I am not worried about the fact that tax thresholds have been further frozen.

Made me laugh anyway. But if you think that stuff might be happening or have happened, then maybe if your are in the UK sign this.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/744215

There are a lot of people who have a very simple belief system:

1) Taxes are theft
2) Pensioners apart from their own parents are rich bastards with huge houses
3) Disabled people are scroungers.
4) We are being replaced by migrants.
5) Anybody that doesn’t look or sound like us is the enemy
6) Insert any old rubbish here…

I used to meet a lot of people in pubs who expressed those views or mildly disguised versions of them. Often ironically in unionised closed shop jobs and they were mostly very white….. What they never seem to grasp is somebody else is pulling the strings and placing the ideas in their minds.

I know I say this every year but I am going to try and do a mental re-group and get some sort of a plan together to plug the gaps in my musical life. But I just haven’t got the energy somehow at present to be honest, both mentally and physically. Midwinters not the time for starting new ventures or setting out on a quest is it really? Random thought of the day. Things do change and we find it hard to accept them. At the time of writing would have been Vicky’s 78 birthday. The last trip Vicky and I did back from French gigs was 618 miles home and we did it in about 12 hours. No sweat. In fact we did it twice in trips instead of staying overnight halfway in my much loved Picasso. Not sure I could do it now though that was in 2018 so not a million years ago. I do miss all that. I must have been quite mad. I feel I am retired but I do release music and also do recording collaborations’ plus I do still gig so in one sense I wonder how retired actually am? I am not so retired by some peoples standards perhaps. But on a lonely Saturday night I do feel very retired indeed as I write this.

Here’s a song. This year I have recorded 74 of my compositions so far. I guess I don’t get out enough. I also contributed to a couple of other artists tracks this year as well.

Here’s a new one of mine 🙂

Can You Give Me A Sign

It all depends on what metric you are using to define success, Money? Fame? Adulation… I am kind of pleased that people actually listen to my music as I never expected that really (and all over the world too it seems from the east to the west), though as I make music for myself, I am not sure I could write to order or in a particular style. I have a fan base of listeners that’s quite diverse in age, gender and so forth. I never expected to be playing the Albert Hall or the 02 and my prediction was correct as I have not played at either 😉 Also I was very late to the game so very few people have heard me live relative to those that have heard my recordings. The most fun I have had playing has always been in pubs to a handful of people. The most people I have ever played to would be between 500 to a 1000 at one festival but it was nowhere near as enjoyable. Would I have liked money and fame, well I can’t answer that because it hasn’t happened. I am driven or was but not to the degree that my more successful mates and it has to be said often hardworking mates have been. I think that there is an element of truth in the fact whilst it’s great to have achieved stuff, once you have ticked the box you have to find another box to tick and that may not be what makes you happy. We played the 100 club 5 times and went down brilliantly each time. By the time we played it last in 2018 I really was kind of bored. I enjoyed playing but didn’t feel the same buzz before or after. The first time it was beyond my wildest dreams.

My partner had been unwell after going in for a minor hospital day procedure and was quite unwell afterwards unexpectedly. That gave me a bit of a chill and made me think somewhat about what’s actually important. And today we have again had relentless rainfall again. Today I feel very reflective about things. I do seem to have spent more time time daydreaming in the last few weeks. Not so angry and not so stressed which is good but a little bit nostalgic. Maybe it’s just the short days and general sleepy vibe.

Bless us one and all, tis almost the season of enforced overeating, fake expressions of joy and familial love, annoying relatives and disappointed children and the distant howling of Mariah Carey and and frozen echoes of Wham. Carol singers spread dischord whilst performing “Whilst Shepard’s washed There Socks By Night” as rearranged by Schonberg as 12 tone serial music and Reform party Mps anxiously await their Christmas boxes from Santa Putin hoping they are not ticking and wonder why it is that Nigel says when they get them they must open them on the balcony. I am not a big fan of Christmas these days but I don’t begrudge others their joy in it. And the music is great too. Well some of it at least.

So take it easy where ever you are…