It’s still to hot for me. Here’s a short Piano mood piece. Just a modal minor tune.
It might grow into something else as well though.

I feel very worn again. I did a gig at a village fate at Knebworth which was rather jolly fun with the Sonic Boomers but I am a bit done in at present. It’s been a very difficult week to be honest.
Sometimes you have to let go a little bit. Maybe this week is one of those?I am a bit irritable though as I can’t seem to cool off. I never used to get this hot to be honest. It’s funny but music is sort of existential. Gig or die almost for me. Vicky was the same. Maybe that’s why we worked so well together, because we were obsessed with it. this year I have felt pretty low at times. A lot of pain which is difficult to manage at times, a feeling of very low self worth and generally being past it . I feel like creatively I am just repeating myself a lot. I do wish what I do was a bit more recognised though my music does get played a fair amount. I miss playing gigs regularly. I can’t deal with the heat now either the way I used to. I am still as bi-polar as I ever was and easily triggered however much I try to manage it.

Back in the day at the Little Green Dragon:

Midsummer’s fast approaching. On a personal level it has been a fairly quiet time.
A few gigs between various the ensembles’ and a couple of open mic spots.
A lot of recording and writing too and a mistaken release of two albums simultaneously due to admin problems. Whoops, did not intend to do that. The usually existential struggle to figure life out in parallel naturally. Once upon a time we knew who the bad guys were and now they are everywhere it seems and in disguise and all around us. Everything, everywhere all at once.

Here’s a recent song. This one is a bit Trance/EDM with a little Jazz influenced piano

To Complex To Explain

I played 4 songs at a local open mike at the Bell Cotton End which was fun last Saturday but otherwise It’s been a rough week again for various reasons, including my partner having a medical emergency that required us to call an ambulance and be at A&E most of the night. But all is well now. A very scary moment. Its left me a bit exhausted.

The news is endless misery and sheer nastiness too. Bad times everywhere all at once.
Its suddenly very hot too and a high pollen count which is too much for me as well.

I do wish there was a way to get everybody to a happy place where we could all play nicely together, but it’s not going to happen.

What I have found depressing is that virtually every word a UK politician says laterly makes Boris Johnson seem like George Washington by comparison. The constant gas lighting and plain old school lying. The constant over representation of the appalling Farage popping up on screens too. I don’t have much to say today really.

Car needed new brakes, so more money. It comes and it goes… What can you do? You need to know when to throw in your hand or buy a new frock 🙂

So I am doing the usual doings music wise at home and away. Not much to report on that front. How am I doing? Honest answer is I am feeling pretty weird right now. I am able to do stuff and have been functioning but I feel emotionally flat and disassociated sort of. Been here before. When I feel bad its really not so much about how things are now it’s more looking at them through the lenses of the past which sort of distorts my view of the now. Most material worldly matters are ok but my heads living somewhere else. It is perhaps an artists or writers view of the world not a nuts and bolts one. But I am not feeling that great generally. I have been using every possible technique to keep it all together recently but its not working that well at the moment.

I just finished a sort of dance track. A little different to my usual output. I think it works.