Life plays us in a sense, we push too hard one way and it resists us and forces us off course far to often.
“There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.
W Shakespeare.
Might seem a little odd, but I think maybe for a while I will not try and be pro-active and seek stuff. I will just carry on writing and recording my own stuff, do Invisible Folk Band projects and take any gigs I get offered that its practical to do. But I am giving up the hunt. If the stars align for something new and magical again great, but if they don’t.. It feels as if I am surrounded it seems by time wasters again. What a surprise. You try and you just don’t get a hand up. Sometimes it has to be all or nothing. You have to bet the farm. There is no risk free life, ever.
That’s sort of a complete 180 degree turn from what I was trying to achieve but a couple of years back to be honest, but at this stage doing what I really want to is the best way to go now.
I am eccentric and quixotic in terms of how I approach things at times and my strong points are also weak spots as I am never really going to be bland. Some people want bland though. I like working with people to make a thing that’s more than the some of its parts if possible. Also I am not a perfectionist so I would rather be getting it 80% or 90% right than labouring for ever to get that 99.99% There is not much to be done I guess. I can have good days with very little arthritis type pain then a really bad day. Often with no rhyme or reason. Much like the depressive episodes which just pop up out of nowhere. On bad days the arthritis is quite debilitating. Other days I feel quite normal. Although I moan about it I do have gigs and music projects. Its just my social life that’s a little bit lacking.
I have certain innate abilities but that also makes me a bit lazy. Maybe there is a spot for me in some new ‘thing’ but tis the fates which must decide, but it seems unlikely.
A few recent tunes from me…
- Existential Dread Swing Time by Diana Stone
- On A Day Such As This Only Memories by Diana Stone
- A protest song sort of.
- Slightly world vibes alt pop-rock song with prog overtones
- Violin chil-out vibe with Synths
- Gentle solo piano piece
- A song about feeling scared like so many of us are right now.
- Nostalgic wistful theme
I am becalmed but not calm…
For me personally my issue is that I lack people not projects I guess. Everybody in the Boomers (my covers band) are busy with family/Church and volunteering stuff a lot of the time. All very worthy, but totally different to my situation and life really. I am slightly introvert but enjoy company, but I have always found making friends difficult. I am not sure its really fixable at my age. Non-transactional friends I suppose I mean is what I need so company for no particular reason, rather than say music buddies. Of course they might be both I suppose?
A poem: