I have had a slightly frustrating week with not too much achieved again to be honest. Having decided to not pursue frustrating but ultimately dead ends further there is a bit of a void right now. I haven’t been out for 4 days and I haven’t felt like it either. I have had a very weird week mood wise. Mildly depressed but doing stuff and somewhat confused about what to do, where to go next. I am drifting a bit.

The latest middle east US/Israel war on Iran has just kicked off too sadly.
It never gets any better does it?

Isaiah 2:4 (KJV): “And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more”.

Today I have been staring out of the windows a lot in-between other stuff.
There is a saying “Its not over till its over”. But what if its over and nobody told you. Maybe you just didn’t get the memo? I am a little bit in lockdown mode again. I think my decision to not actively seek other musical opportunity’s at present was a sensible one. I can always change my mind but will remain open to offers so to speak. I have been chasing stuff solidly for about 3 years or so and apart from working with people I already know nothing has worked out really. I thought it was something I was doing wrong but I have realised it really isn’t. Of course the voice in my head will still always say “I haven’t done enough” though.

So I will just try and float on the breeze for a while at least as its better for my self-esteem and mental health. Maybe when the weather improves I will visit a few old haunts. I am at a tipping point of some sort. I don’t want to drive my self crazy just banging my head against the wall if possible. And certainly in the first couple of months of this year time has caught up with me a little plus concern abut Alsions various health issues problems.