Well, a funny old day. I couldn’t settle to anything at all. Slight gloom ensued. I am sleeping OK but still waking up tired at present. What I notice is if I am out and doing stuff I feel OK but at home although I am nowhere near as anxious as I have been for a long time I do feel very tired. Again though if I am beavering away making a recording or writing music or learning something new I am fine. So how much is depression and how much is actually physiology in all this? I can get energy to do stuff, but once I have run through my to do list, its like my strings have been cut and I collapse in a heap.

BTW I had a funny dream and at the end of it I was on a wooden boat with Donald Trump and others in NY harbour near the statue of liberty and it was sunk, and the Donald was saying don’t launch the missiles they will destroy us all as we are at the target. We were all bobbing around in life jackets at that point, then I woke up… It was so real.

I should have gone out again today as being in a lot seems to put me out of sorts a bit. I had a quick walk around the block but even with several layers the cold got to me. Even being out for 20 minutes makes a difference though I find. Sometimes when I am feeling a bit low I sort of lock up and stop doing anything. Usually at that point the mournful thoughts creep up. Having been very busy with various music and related projects and having finished those, I did not want to plough straight in to the next thing and sort of thought about going out but didn’t.

I have been working on some music, I feel half dead but that’s OK. A song that’s developing nicely so far. It’s the case that creatively I do better if I have switch off and refresh. yesterday was a bit like that and half today I was also mentally off line.

Music 🎶

• Good Sense Of Humour
  A song about when your love thinks you're a clown but you don't care, so you sing a happy song
• Tell Me What Did I Do To You
  Slow rock ballad
• No More Excuse
  No More Excuses because you are bad. Slightly Gospel Blues feel song
• Mostly Grey Or Gray
  Mostly Grey Or Gray by Diana Stone
• A Place You Will Never Find
  A peaceful violin and electronica instrumental vibe.
• Feeling The Fear
  A song about feeling the fear and running away, but its not far enough.
• Still Fire Inside
  A song about feeling the blood rushing and the spirit still rises with that special person.
• Show Me Something I Can Believe In
  Pop world vibe
• I Know You Will Bite Me
  A song about when you know somebody is dangerous no matter what they say.
• Christmas Jingle Thing No1
  Electronica Christmas Music

Those were the days 😉