Its just that time of year again I guess really and nothing more. Everything stops but mostly it starts again. I never really stop doing stuff. If something fails completely then a sideways move or possibility can sometimes appear out of the blue, often at a point where one feels everything is rusted and seized up beyond redemption. I looked at a few old diary entries for this time of year and stuff happened but little was achieved it seemed to be honest. I have a stronger sense of things ending generally this year than I usually do at this time of year, a physical and metaphorical feeling in my bones one might say… But is it simply that usual winter feeling? Probably. I realised that it’s time to stretch my comfort zone again and expand it a bit to try and feel a bit less stuck again. I have been playing it very safe recently i think and I do need to really try and mix a bit more socially again but I have been literally shying away.

Its that thinking time of year again, not so much for grand plans but more just reviewing the old years events at its end and wondering a little bit about the coming one. My personal worlds boundary has shrunk a bit. Not a sudden thing but events nibble away sometimes at ones confidence and reversing that trend is not always so easy. The risk is doing something really risky or silly in a mad moment for me right now.

You will be expecting a new tune no doubt so as not to disappoint here it is:

Today did not go to plan but Ho hum… Plans indeed. So one foot in front of the other and try to keep sane I guess. These inbetween days are difficult as whilst I am occupied its fine but thoughts wander to the sad and also rather odd places between dreams and desires that cannot be satisfied without the risk of raining down destruction in a careless moment.