Well they do don’t they? Everything and possibly everybody has a price.
I think I have to include myself in that too. So its now November 2018 and its getting damp and cold and dark. Today I was working on a song called “Everybody sells out eventually” and of course it turns out that its true.
Do we give up on our ambitions for a quiet life. Damn right we do.
The music is getting darker and darker all the time though actually slightly better though my voice is I feel getting a little stranger over time. I really need to sort out working with a couple of vocalists as a bit of an experiment. Perhaps I can drag one in off the street 😉
Last night I had a very odd dream, of the non-fantastic hyper-realistic sort. My mother was in it asking me when I was going to move out. Well I quit the nest quite late but still around 35 years ago so I don’t know what that was all about? I awoke feeling pretty strange afterwards. I need to make a new friend or two I feel. Most people I know are 50 miles or more away. So when your my age and a weirdo how do you make new friends. I don’t have much in common with most people my age apart from aching bones, a bad temper and an inability to suffer fools. I am rubbish at making small talk and tend to lapse into silence. This does not seem to get any easier as time passes. Being a depressive also doesn’t make for a level playing field, and it is remarkably easy to score a few own goals along the way. And don’t get me started on politics. That’s something else that is unlikely help me win friends and influence people either.
Currently my rainy day exercise regime is a few turns up and down the stairs so I can easily do 100 plus steps a day before anything else. That helps a bit but its a tad anti-social. My weight is OK but may well go up if I don’t get a little bit more active. When you feel a bit low its easy to just curl up into a ball and do nothing. When I am on the phone I usually walk whilst speaking and I often do have long phone calls. Unfortunately I don’t have that many people to speak to that I feel at ease with and I try to avoid pissing off the ones that I can talk with.
