Now then, what’s next.

Up late listening to J.S Bach Sonatas and Partitas for Solo Violin played by Ilya Kaler, who I must confess I had not heard of before. And typing this blog of course. Still sorting stuff out in my music room and the rest of the gaff too. I feel slightly out of touch wit reality at present by then I often do. It’s just the anxiety, paranoia and depression thing. It’s not there all the time, but rather it visits at random and puts me off course.

The background music to my existence is this weird fog of mental disarray, and over the years it’s been a regular companion. So much so that I would miss it if it ever really went away? It comes and goes and I try and carry on regardless as far as I can.

Fortunately I am not so badly afflicted that I can’t get on with most of my life, most of the time which is good.

Also it gives me stuff to write music and occasion songs about too. Its funny but I am been participating in various trans related forums on line for about 17 years or so, and so don’t have much to say about stuff that has not been said a zillion times before.
The world has changed quite a bit over that time, though human nature has not. More acceptance, yes certainly thats the case, but also along with still many problems too. The trick if there is one is not to take it all too seriously as life can be absurd, nasty, brutish and time passes very quickly. I mean it’s nearly spring already.

Clarity often visits after midnight. When i had a proper job I would often do work around this time in front of a screen. Not much change there then. Except now I write and send it into the either. It’s a sort of therapy confessional thing I suppose. Cheaper and easier than talking to a psychiatrist on balance too.

Anyway it’s not over till the fat lady sings.

Let’s be careful out there.