I think I am getting past it. Recently I feel like I am permanently recovering from flu, aching and tired. Maybe I need a change.<\/p>\n
I seem to be OK when I am occupied sufficiently so maybe it’s a depression thing. I can lift myself out of this feeling and I do quite a good public face, but I feel like I am struggling a bit. I was on SSRI’s for quite a while,(10 to 15 years) but they don’t seem to fix the problem. Also they (antidepressants ) in my personal experience tend to disinhibit and this can lead to bad decision making, so whilst you start to feel better, you often find that you’re digging a big hole which eventually you tend to fall into. I have had quite a bit of therapy of various sorts over the years and I function just about but right now it’s hard work. I had a recent conversation as part of recording a podcast about performing, and the fact that I am essentially quite introvert though I can switch modes to perform, sing play but as soon as the switch goes off at the end of a gig I am very unsure. I suppose that could be interpreted as being anti-social or aloof, but I am actually not. Its just a massive lack of confidence and perhaps low self-esteem.<\/span><\/p>\n I also have a lot of anger about what I see going on around me and I despair about the sort of attitudes I see in many people. The world seems to be going backwards in many ways and that saddens me, though there are little islands of hope. The lack of charity (in the broadest sense) to those that are struggling for all sorts of reasons, health, unemployment or simply bad luck. Often I see this from people who say they have some sort of religious faith but behave in ways contrary to the tenants of that faith.<\/p>\n Perhaps, then my depression is a reasonable reaction to the world that I see.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think I am getting past it. Recently I feel like I am permanently recovering from flu, aching and tired. Maybe I need a change. I seem to be OK when I am occupied sufficiently so maybe it’s a depression thing. I can lift myself out of this feeling and I do quite a good … Continue reading I think I am getting past it<\/span>